Environmentally friendly

I really am trying to save the planet you know. I cannot do this single handedly so I do hope that you are playing your part too. Freya so adored Happy Feet, she has become pre-occupied with turning out lights and popping my magazines and newspapers in the recycling, I just can't seem to find my credit card statement anywhere!

I have discovered the most perfect shopping bag! It is tasteful and neutral (will not spill dye all over your white jeans in the rain), I don't know why I didn't think of The National Trust before, these bags can even be purchased online! Don't tell anyone else though, or they will become far too common place.

I bought some of those dreadful Dryer Balls a couple of weeks ago, and what a din they make in the tumble dryer! It sounded as though the drum was full of pound coins. Yes they reduce the drying time, and cut out the need for the chemicals used in fabric conditioner, but the house sounded like a breakers yard, and that was with the utility room door closed.

We must all play our part for the environment, we need broad shoulders to bear the hardships ahead and be serious about saving the planet. I have arranged to move the dryer and washing machine out to the garage in order to reduce the disruption and noise. The games room overhead will not require quiet, and neither will Ana. She is probably accustomed to all kinds of agricultural machinery noises from her Ukranian home on the farm, cow bells and the like...

Listeners ...

My mother has always said "listeners never hear good of themselves." In fact, if you ever managed to catch her talking about you she would spring into action with her special phrase, and you would inevitably be labelled as being in the wrong for spying!

I try to stay in touch with all of the trivia of importance to young people. As a mature parent, I purposefully endeavour to keep up with the trendy bands, books, mobile phones and the like so that the munchkins feel that I can relate to them as they get older.

This evening I was talking to my super PA Lydia on the telephone from home. I slipped back to the house early from work as I had a meeting at 3pm in London Bridge. It made perfect sense to me as it would have taken an age to get back to the office...

Having just returned from holiday together, Lydia and I are getting on particularly well. She was telling me about this "amazing group" and their "current vibe" or whatever. I told her; "Nothing is new, I have heard that sound before."

"Oh Lydia" I laughed "The Killers are The Cure."

At this point I heard banging and crashing outside my bedroom window - which is rather alarming as I sleep on the second floor... An ashen faced Ana (au pair) appeared in the window looking terrified.

"You are intending to do away with me," she screeched.

"Only if you don't get on and finish cleaning the gutters," I replied. Honestly, listeners never hear good of themselves. She needs to get those gutters spic and span, as soon she will be too big to get up the ladder!