Chamelions...

Image is everything in Dulwich you know.

I love to see my darling munchkins appropriately attired, indeed I can gain a few pounds in weight over the Christmas period and still manage to splurge a small fortune on clothes when it is for my tiny poppets.

I take such pleasure in ensuring that the darlings are perfectly turned out, the social pressure to conform to the right image when browsing the boutiques of East Dulwich can be crushing!

Each Saturday afternoon, careering down North Cross Road on their scooters (for their weekly visit to Hope and Greenwood sweet shop), I ensure that the poppets look the part. The mummies of East Dulwich are incredibly eco-aware. If they are not queuing outside William Rose the butcher on Lordship Lane wearing their husbands fleeces and lugging their eco shopping bags stacked high with organic vegetables, they are reading The Guardian at the Blue Mountain Café wearing their husbands Crocs or sparring in the St Christopher's Hospice Charity Shop over a pair of children's striped acrylic tights. There is only so far that I am prepared to go to blend in…

I would hate for anyone to consider that I had inappropriately accessorized. I purchase clashing coloured T-Shirts and cargo pants for my munchkins from lovely designer Internet sites, smear them in strawberry jam and spaghetti hoops (allowing adequate time to soak), and instruct our house keeper Albena to wash the clothes on 90 degrees in order to ensure appropriate fading, shrinkage and bobbling.

Indeed, we really are quite the social chameleons! I thus manage to ensure that my family achieve the eco-trendy charity shop look to perfection. I never ever conform to this look myself though - clearly! I admit that I wear James Jeans when shopping in East Dulwich, but they are from my closet obviously - not belonging to James at all!