Apology
I was tottering around the kitchen this morning in a super pair of Miu Miu Wedges, when James had the absolute cheek to accuse me of spending too much money on clothes!
“OHMYGOD… Whatever are you saying?” I asked, tears springing from my eyes…
“When did you buy those? Is that a new bag too?” He accused…
“I cannot believe you are being so cruel,” I sobbed. “You genuinely never notice a single thing about me. I have had these shoes for almost three years, and the bag?… That bag was a gift from my mother at Christmas over two years ago,” I sniffed. “When was the last time you really noticed me, when did you actually really take a look? And I try so very hard to look good for you, seeking just a morsel of attention from your table. All you care about is stocks and shares.”
Naturally James was shamed and filled with remorse, he gets so very stressed each time he writes the annual cheques for the school fees.
I sit here in my capacious office, sipping a Grande Latte from my enormous brushed steel thermos cup (my PA Lydia really is a doll, and looks after me far too well), smiling at the enormous arrangement of roses and herbs which have just been delivered from Paula Pryke. It is completely tragic that an apology is the only reason my husband sends flowers.
I so love shopping on the Internet, and I am so very grateful that the recycling truck turned up and removed my super Net a Porter packaging at ten to eight this very morning.
A girl must be so careful to dispose of the evidence, and I so often find that attack is the best form of defence…
15 comments:
Did you read recent piece in Times about the fact that every woman has a secret wardrobe consisting of stuff she lies about to partner - when it was bought, how much it cost. Guilty as charge, m'lud (though not as much at the mo, sadly)
Ooooooh! You are SO clever! I am taking notes of what to say when...
Darling Omega Mum,
I didn't read the article - but indeed, we are all women with so much in common, but not in a "common" way - clearly!
Darling DJ Kirkby,
I am a bit clever, but I hate myself too! (Although just for seconds I must admit! ha, ha, ha)
Ah! Fantastic, DM you are as cunning as a vixen.
Didn't get your last comment, please visit me again I love your comments.
Isn't it a good thing most husbands are far too busy being important to be bothered with anything as mundane as reading our blogs?
I salute you, Dulwich Mum.
Lovely Frog,
I am dreadfully manipulative, but sometimes I think that James needs a "nudge" - he simply cannot afford to take me for granted!
Sweet Potty Mummy,
A blog really is a girl's best friend (apart from her jewellery box - clearly!)...
DM, I've done a little research, and I cannot believe you spent £915 on a bag! I have to deliberate for weeks about whether to spend £14.99 on a bag from Hennes, and that's only because my current one has a big hole in the bottom and is covered in soggy mushed half-eaten rice cakes (betty's, not mine).
I'm going to have to make Tom work harder, obviously.
Darling Elsie, I don't desserve such good friends as I have here in the blogosphere, you know I am deeply, deeply, deeply superficial! DMx
Ah, what they don't know about our spending doesn't hurt them!
My husband did once rant that I'd bought ready made ice-cubes, he was very wild about the total waste of money.
I promised that if he found the recipe I would try to make them next time.
It warms my heart to learn that net-as-porter is used by others as I have used it myself (sadly no longer)! Such a joy the stylish packaging, such a joy the beautiful (invariably) contents and such a joy to dispose of the evidence prior to hubby's return...
I am soooo pleased to be back!
you poor thing - and it really is such poor taste for him to question you in such a manner....and at breakfast no less! I hardly think flowers are an adequate apology...
Lovely Frog,
You really are so very clever, to even consider making your own ice cubes! Don't men realise how very much more expensive divorce can be?
Oh Debio!
I shall dash right over and read all your news - perhaps I should buy a new outfit - specially for the occasion!
Sweet Rebecca,
It is true, he put me straight off my Bucks Fizz! I endure such torture...
Brilliant posting, Dulwich Mum! We girls have to defend ourselves as best we can. Good to see you seem more than capable of holding your own!
Oh Dulwich Mum I'm not shocked at you disposing of the evidence in the recycling bin but by the fact that James believed the bag was two years old. He is so out of touch with current fashion! Best hide your recent copy of Vogue and Tatler.
At least you got some lovely flowers out of it sweetie!
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