Dulwich mum

Home birth? Of course we would have preferred one, but a planned Cesarean Section seemed the civilised choice, shhhhhhhhhhhhhh though, everyone else had an independent midwife. Didn't they?

NCT antenatal classes, pregnancy yoga, homeopathy and 'Rescue Remedy'. A whole lot more alcohol is required in Bach flower remedies and in substantially larger bottles - but that is just a personal opinion. I nearly expired with the pain of the Braxton Hicks!

Breast fed until it was almost indecent - a badge of honour in Dulwich. I couldn't handle the caffeine free existence for too long. Fruit tea smells nice but its like drinking the dregs from a cup of wet pot pourri. Praise the Lord for Starbucks and their lovely soft chairs and toys.

Cranial osteopathy. Gina Ford's 'Contented Little Baby' book, we tried to tell ourselves that control was ours for the taking - ha! Organic and home made baby food. Delivered organic vegetables from Able and Cole or Riverford. I am still picking bits of rice cake out of the car seats!

Immunisation angst - that was dreadful..... homeopathic immunisations or individual immunisation involving long treks across town? How about a quick trip down to the practice nurse?....Oh no, we always take the difficult option.

Weekly weigh-in's with the lovely Health Visitor Teresa (yes we had one!). NCT re-union's and tea group - but it all got very competitive. I think that is where this all started to get out of hand. I still get palpitations at the sight of a red book or growth chart.

Wimmer-Ferguson 'mobile' and car 'gallery', Whoozit books, Baby Einstein, Majors for Minors music, Letterland books, songs and flashcards. Muzzy French. IQ Omega 3 Fish oil - have you seen the price of that stuff? I would have been better off spending my money on Imedeen, maybe we should take the fish oils ourselves to help us to do the children's homework.

We left it much too late to have these sweet little children. We are turning ours into the equivalent of a PhD - a massive project at which we will excel - attention to detail is everything. It seems irrelevant what the children want. We are trying not to succumb to Kumon, private music lessons and kids yoga. We want to be more bohemian, but we are much too controlling for our own good. You see, these are the strategies we employed in order to do so well in our careers. We just can't stop ourselves.

The poor stressed out little children.

I am much better at my job than my parenting. Much better.

Can I have my Prozac now doctor?.............