My Mother

My mother just telephoned me, and now I am depressed. Does this only happen to me? I really cannot win....!

My mother has a valued friend called Mrs Jones. They have a huge amount in common, they are the same generation, both widows, live alone, and are both ruled by the same church. Their partnership has lasted longer than either of their marriages.

Mrs Jones recently had the opportunity to take part in that National Lottery Show, you know, the one with Dale Winton? Well, she was over the moon, a trip to Selfridges with a personal shopper was organised by her daughter, and a new outfit suitable for an appearance on TV was purchased. My mother was a proud (if seethingly jealous) friend. I remember being forced to console mum at the time:

'If you had the chance Mum, we wouldn't let you go. It is all terribly naff',

- that really cheered her up. She loves to feel superior. Anyhow, Mrs Jones had her place in the sun, and the lucky duck won 35K! I asked Mum tonight, how is Mrs Jones? Well, you will not believe the answer I had:

'Mrs Jones has been in and out of The Bethlem Royal Infirmary. She is devastated'.

'Oh my word. Mother, the poor lady'.

Mrs Jones was widowed tragically young with four tiny children, and she struggled on alone, putting all four children through univeristy. She has always been a capable, hard working, sensible, devout person.

'Whatever could have shaken her so?'

Well, according to my mother, "the final mortal blow" - the one thing Mrs Jones could not recover from, was the disappointment when "Dreadful Dale" did not give her a cheque for a million!

"The paltry sum she won had barely been worthy of her taxi fare".

Mrs Jones is not in any debt, she doesn't 'want' for anything. But, she had anticipated paying off her children's mortgages and retiring in extreme wealth to her native County Kerry. I don't know, you just can't please some people. I said to my mother:

'Give me a break Mother, she has her family and her health - surely this was just a little disappointing, I imagine she had never anticipated coming into thirty five thousand pounds, surely she could have a conservatory, a nice holiday and a new car?'

Well, I wish I never opened my mouth. Apparently Mrs Jones no longer finds the church a "reassurance", and my mother is beginning to re-evaluate her own faith.

Some people! GRRRRRRRRRRR..................