Wine
I am sorry to whine, I do realise how very lucky I am, but this whole parenting thing is just so bloody hard (please excuse my bad language). The boy wonder is not pleased with me at all right now.
I do love sweet Max, but he does like to throw a jolly good tantrum. This morning he had a tantrum of complete 'epic' proportions. The darling wanted to come to work with me, and I could not allow this, my boss is so demanding at the moment.
I spent the entire day feeling sad and 'prickly' inside, as my baby boy likes to say. I really would have loved to have been able to bring the darling to work, he so loves to use the shredder. He usually wants nothing to do with me, and pays no attention to a word I say.
If I could personally thank the man who invented Chablis, I would kiss him warmly on each cheek. I was so very flat this evening when I returned from work that if I had been unable to find the corkscrew, I could have sucked the very cork from the bottle - such was my appetite for anaesthesia.
My mother has returned from Lourdes with tall tales of healings and miracles. Oh how she described the joy on the "cripples" faces at being immersed in the freezing holy waters...
"I am your mother" she insisted, "you are not listening to me. A mother is the most sacred of things to be - like The Blessed Virgin Mother, I BORE you, show some respect for the truth I am trying to share" -
"Yes mother, indeed, you bore me", I replied, grrr...
I shall rot in hell. Brenda will see to that personally... I married a protestant and she will never let me forget it.
10 comments:
Surely you'll be in heaven as a Catholic but you'll have to watch poor James consigned to the fires of hell...And at least the Pope has abolished limbo (though whether this referred to the dancing or religious variety remains to be seen).
Dear Omega Mum,
I am not sure I want to go to a heaven where everyone is as 'good' as my mother. Although I do so wish I had gone with Brenda to Lourdes, just to watch her being immersed in the freezing cold waters of the 'holy baths' could have been rather enjoyable!
dulwichmum, darling, immersion in chablis works more miracles than than in an ocean of holy water, and my husband says, after reading about your particular oral uncorking talents, that such a woman is sure to get to heaven one way or another
If your Catholic mum still refers to 'cripples' does she call the Protestant James a 'proddy-dog'?
Rilly is right about immersion in Chablis - get that bath filled, and be Cleopatra for the night!
Rilly's right, Chablis all the way.
But you love your Proddie boy, and that's all that matters!
Oh mercy! have another glass I say.
OK then, I shall now move on to my second bottle of the evening...
Well you did seem to insist?
Darling DM,
Are you up to your neck in miraculous medals? What a bore!
You can go on strike, resign, take up all the vices, but you can never stop being a Catholic.
I don't understand why all the different factions think they hold the only truth, when the truth is in us all.
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