W.I.

Granzilla will not be visiting us at all over the half term (quelle surprise!). James has informed me on many occasions of her complete aversion to children – her inability to ever offer any practical help or support with childcare. School holidays can be so very difficult for hard working parents.

During her most recent visit however, Granzilla had shocked us all with the news that she has recently won second prize at a local Women's Institute cake baking competition! This was her first ever attempt at baking. James immediately described bitterly how as a boy at boarding school, he had informed his mother of the many boys in his house who would return to school after holidays with tins of delicious home bakes. To my darling husband's dismay, Granzilla had never even tried, and on one occasion turned up for a special school occasion with a home baked cake in a tin informing him;

“Yes indeed this is home baked as requested, although not baked by me… clearly, I bought it at the Parish cake sale this morning.” You just know this is true, don't you.

Granzilla has become a great admirer of Nigella Lawson of late, and has become curious of the “goings on in the kitchen” as she put it.

Grandpa Charles telephoned us this evening to say that Granzilla has absconded to Sandy Lanes for an extended break to include the forthcoming half term, as she needs to recuperate following her dismay at a recent piece of news. Apparently she enquired of the WI – the name of the person who actually won the first prize in the cake baking competition, only to discover that there had been no other entries! OHMYGOD!!!

The judges had been unimpressed by my Monster-in-Law's offering, but not wanting to cause offence (to the only titled Lady in their ranks) they had allocated her second prize!!!

My darling Monster-in-Law has developed a head ache and requires a couple of weeks in the sun to recover.