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Saturday, 8 December 2007

Over the limit

I find my own sense of humour terribly entertaining when I have had too much to drink. I know my limit, just one glass of Krug and I must stop - no I really must. I can drink half a bottle of Chablis on a daily basis, but only ever one glass of Champagne.

The other night at James' Christmas party for example, I had two glasses of Champagne and I became terribly giddy. James always says that I get a twinkle in my eye, and he can sense when I am going to cause trouble...

I was introduced to the new, substantially younger, Japanese second wife (grrr) of James' much older German work colleague Martin. She appeared frightfully self assured with her svelte doll sized proportions and raven hair, but James' Christmas party was my show...

"How do you do," I purred.

"How do you find household staff in the UK?," she barked abruptly (what a very strange way to open a conversation!).

"Why? are you looking for work?" I replied innocently.

OHMYGOD. I am so lucky that she didn't scratch my eyes out! Oh how I laughed, as her husband wrestled her out of the marquee. I really shouldn't drink at all...ever.

16 comments:

mgma said...

Loved your Christmas faux pas! Let it not deter you from more festive (and off-season, for that matter) drinking.

Let us be merry all year round, uttering inappropriateness all along! :-D

Thank you for your comment on my blog, by the way. "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers" seems a very apt quote for today.

x

debio said...

dm; it is so heartening to learn that you don't lose your faculties when influenced by ever-welcome Krug....

The only good thing about office Christmas parties is the sport to be had.....City parties always an opportunity for the bosses to 'cry woe' and how, next year, everyone is to be condemned to live in high-rise as the Surrey piles are ditched to fund the school fees.

Milkmaid said...

Priceless, very quick witted, I always think of the best thing to say half an hour after the event

dulwichmum said...

Oh lovely MGMA,

Long after the snow has melted - I will still be in the dog house with James because of my catty comments... (sigh).

Perfect Debio,

Indeed I hope that James will not be forced to ditch our enormous home to finance the school fees - this can surely be avoided if he restricts himself to one wife! I live in fear, I honestly do...

Sweet Milkmaid,

This humour of mine is a cross believe me. I open my mouth and in goes my foot!

obb said...

No - I really think you should drink more often. Tell it like it is ;)

dulwichmum said...

Super talented OBB!!

Do you really think so? Darn, and now I have hidden the cork screw... It looks like I shall be forced to go into the cellar and pop another bottle - OHMYGOD! James simply hates that twinkle I get in my eye!

Potty Mummy said...

Fantastic, DM. You deserve at least another bottle of Krug for that one. I mean rally, if you start a conversation like that then you deserve all you get!

aims said...

How I would have loved to have been a bystander....and to have heard the conversation between the husband and wife afterwards!! Very well done!

Elsie Button said...

haha excellent!

dulwichmum said...

Dear Potty Mummy,

Could you please explain that to James? He says he can't take me anywhere!

Lovely Aims,

Thank you for the encouragement, I believe they are still not talking!

Oh Elsie,

I so wish you had been there to see it! Perhaps I shall wear a web cam the next time I drink Champagne!

Frog in the Field said...

Perfect put down, that was no faux pas, just wonderful eloquence!

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Frog,

How long do you suppose it will be until I am forgiven?

Stay at home dad said...

Very funny DM!

Re. label: It's amazing what generous farming subsidies will achieve.

Motheratlarge said...

Nice one, Dulwich Mum. Quite right of you to put her in her place. Very quick-witted on two glasses of fizz!

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Stay at home dad,

Is that the reason why they plant them? No, really? Please explain for me now why they all wear surgical masks on aeroplanes?

Dear Motheratlarge,

I am afraid another glass and I would simply have called her a home wrecker!

Stay at home dad said...

Yes, I believe so. You can get subsidies for what amounts to just a garden, really.

The mask is to stop others catching their cold. They are a thoughful bunch alright.