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Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Hail King Gordon of all Brown

Our perfect Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has been at the helm for one whole year (sigh). I have the biggest crush on this man (OHMYGOD!). He is clearly so very uncomfortable in the shallow, dishonest, self obsessed world of politics, spin and insincerity. If he makes a mistake, he is not proud, he backs down, he says he is wrong. He seeks advice from experts and I imagine that he has lots of Excel Spreadsheets and a huge calculator on his desk.

I am delighted by the fact that he is not photogenic, Gordon is not some shiny wet boy sporting a cycling helmet and a bottle of Evian, followed on his micro-scooter by a 4x4 crammed with body guards. I can imagine David Cameron as a boy, with his sick note for matron, hoping to be excused from contact sports. I can just see him drinking organic soya decaf latte (gasp). Master Cameron is just not very manly and in my opinion is better suited to a career in estate agency.

I would love Mr Brown to be my boss. I imagine that he is a perfect manager, uninterested in office gossip and spin, just keen to get on with the job in hand. He is busy running the country, concerned with global warming, the rising cost of fuel, and the war in Iraq.

He is not one of those fathers who climbs into the birthing pool next to his labouring wife and makes a nuisance of himself, hyperventilating and hogging the entinox gas.

I imagine that he wears lovely carpet slippers and a v-neck, cable knit, cardigan with chunky buttons (I once knew a vile politician who kept a sun bed in his office). I don't know my right wing from my left wing from my west wing - honestly. I haven't the last clue about politics, but Gordon is a real man and long may he rule (swoon).

27 comments:

Lazy Daisy said...

Oh Lol!

dulwichmum said...

Darling Lazy Daisy,

Isn't Gordon simply a dream boat (sigh)...

girl with the mask said...

That is a very interesting spin on things... but am am all for Cameron I am afraid. It makes me shudder to think of Brown talking dirty...

dulwichmum said...

Perfect Girl with the mask,

Perhaps you are still too young to understand. My aunty Lou always warned me off the flash lads, keen to buy a drink and good at dancing... its all show you know.

Please read my entry entitled "Good Daddy Material"
http://dulwichmum.blogspot.com/2006/11/good-daddy-material.html

girl with the mask said...

Hmmm, have read previous entry and see your point. Will go and have a glass of Chablis and think about what you have wisely said... (I don't really drink Chablis, but I thought that might be something you'd approve of. Presumably you'd think less of me if I admitted I'm sat with a tinny of White Lightening)

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Have thought about it long and hard, from every angle and taking onboard all your points, and my conclusion is yes, you are most definitely alone on this.

dulwichmum said...

Sweet GWTM,

It is not necessary to drink Chablis. But please, pour your White Lightening into this wine glass and take the gum out of your mouth...

Lovely Tara,

Are you sure sweetie?

Working mum said...

Oh, is he the Prime Minister, then? I wondered who that bloke on the green leather seats was on the news last night. What happened to Smiley Blair? Have I missed something?

Lazy Daisy said...

Double lol, but no.

valley girl said...

Dulwichmum, I wonder if this is a classic case of being attracted to the enemy as it were - for surely your sympathies must lie more Tory-ward? A bit like hardened lefties who use to secretly fantasise about Michael Portillo?

PS Friend of friend knew Mrs Brown at University and reports she was 'a bit of a goth'. This makes me warm to her.

Elsie Button said...

I have a crush on him too

dulwichmum said...

Perfect Working Mum,

Indeed Mr Smiley Blair has run off and joined the circus! The more charasmatic and conversationalist men are not to be trusted...

Sweet Lazy Daisy,

Are you sure you are sure?

Nice Valley Girl,

Do you really think so? What a little rebel I am! I like Mrs Brown too.

THANK GOD FOR ELSIE BUTTON! I was beginning to doubt myself, and that would never ever do! Lets start a club. Don't you simply adore powerful men?

Mopsa said...

He's like a friend's older brother, you know, the one you have high hopes of, but when he asks you out you sniff his halitosis and spot his dirty collar? Such a let down.

aims said...

Who? and Who's Tony Blair? Oh wait! He's the one who was patting George Bush's ass isn't he?

They all look the same from this side of the pond I'm afriad darling. But if you like him - he's good enough for me!

aims said...

p.s. - I'll skip some stones across and do be a doll and put them on Tony's marker will you? He's going to need some sympathy somewhere and I'm always good for being a bleeding heart now and then.

Teena said...

I'm so sorry! I have clearly completely missed something. Do I take it from all of this that someone out there IS running this country? Living out here in Rural England one truly wonders if you city folk haven't all taken annual leave. Saying this, I do not feel reassured. If this chap, Gordon is, as you say, at the helm, is he going to begin steering anytime soon?? t.x

Elsie Button said...

Poor Gordon

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Dulwich mum – you clearly need a bit of a lie down as exhaustion is affecting your judgement. Or, I would surmise that you have been on the Bollinger a little too much and as such your are no doubt seeing Gordon through the lenses of your beer goggles. Sober up girl or I will have your children seized by social services.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

You see I always find the acid test is to imagine a man in bed...if this stimulates the gag reflex then he's clearly not the man for you.

GB is definitely not the man for me, but interestingly, when I imagined him in bed (not with me), I couldn't actually imagine anything. I wonder how sex with Gordon would go...

Interesting.
Pigx

dulwichmum said...

Sweet Mopsa,

Are you sure about the dirty collar? I actually went out with my friend's big brother, he really was a dream boat!

Darling Aims,

Thank you for your vote of confidence. Your trust is valued. The man is perfect *swoon*.

Oh Teena sweetie, please feel reassured and watch closely. Still waters run deep - steady and sure!

Perfect Elsie (sob), it may be you and I and Aims. We could actually start a Facebook fan club...

Oh Menopausaloldbag (gasp),

I promise I have not been drinking (hic)...

Lovely Pig,

I am imagining him in bed right now, tucked up in some flannelette pjs and a hot water bottle - bless! He makes my heart skip a beat.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

oh right, so you think he is asexual. Is that we want from a PM, no balls?
Pigx

Single Mother on the Verge said...

I bet he's a right goer. A smarter haircut would be nice though, unfortunately his jowly cheeks don't do much for him.

Mel said...

I am afraid that thinking of Gordon Brown in that way is akin to thinking of my parents, a definite no-go area. Maybe Cameron just seems younger and more debonair but he is the one I would go for. Long may you have your fantasy though.
Mel

Frog in the Field said...

For goodness sake DM! What the hell have you been drinking this time?
I'm sorry, I know you hate bad language but I'm growing very concerned about you. Is James neglecting you again?
I'm laughing at some comments and trying not to gag at others....HAHAHA!!

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Hmm, he is far too old for me. Although I am partial to a Scot. I see where you are coming from DM, much more my type than the yonger Cameron, and he is a lovely father, he is supposed to be very warm and amusing in 'real life', but I didn't think you'd be the type DM to just go for personality???

Mini-et-Moi said...

Cameron for Foxtons! You've summed it up perfectly. He's so slimy that it would work well ... Urgh!
I do feel that GB is terribly misunderstood, poor chap.

dulwichmum said...

Perfect PITK,

The point is, I find Gordon incredibly sexy. Perhaps it is the power of his office, but I do love a quiet, cerebral chap - I must admit...

Darling Single Mother on the verge,

I agree with your speculation, but even find his floppy cheeks attractive!

Lovely Mel,

I must admit that I would love to give Mr Cameron a wallop with my handbag - he has the face for it! Many thanks for your empathic comment though! ;)

Sweet Frog,

We really must meet up soon, I have such plans. I shall bring a case of white Burgundy!

Kind Confused Take That Fan,

I must admit that his position is quite the aphrodisiac!

Divine Mini-et-Moi,

Thank God you are here! Pull up a chair and let me pour you a drink...