Mistaken identity

When I arrived at the conference venue yesterday afternoon, the name badge which had been prepared for me was inaccurate - and contained a title 'Professor'. I immediately pointed out the inaccuracy and scored through the title on the registration sheet. Apparently it was far too late to order a replacement, so a hunt for some correction fluid ensued.

I joyfully checked into my room, took a deep bath, availed myself of the fruit basket and watched Sky TV for a couple of hours, before heading downstairs to partake of the evening events in my super black Prada suit.

Twice I was accosted by delegates requesting random forgotten toiletry items to be delivered to their rooms. Do I look like a staff member from Hotel Babylon? Well - clearly...., but it was becoming a drag!

I discretely scratched the Tipex from my name badge, and proceeded to 'Lord' it over all and sundry for the rest of the evening and most of today! It has been enlightening to observe the attitudes of my fellow delegates as they became aware of my qualification.

Note to self: Enrol on Phd course at earliest convenience - actually, better still -I will investigate the purchase of additional qualifications from the USA in the manner of Dr (ha!) Gillian McKeith..........