Names

This morning I was late for work. Darling Max dissolved into tears when I was helping him to get dressed. Apparently one of his little school chums has been hitting him. The poor baby just melted my heart, and we both shed a few tears. I decided to phone my PA, reschedule a meeting, and escort the lambs to school myself.

All of the mothers at this idyllic nursery school are more than approachable. No parent wants their child to hurt another. The teachers are all terribly helpful, sympathetic and experienced regarding any concern a parent may express. Max is the gentle giant in his class - the oldest boy, and never ever hurts another soul intentionally, by word or action. Freya he is not, she doesn't give two hoots! I am terrified that Max could be bullied, and further - that Freya could choose a career in midwifery or rugby.

I discussed my concerns with Mrs Honeywell, while my baby boy concealed himself behind my skirt, kissing my hand.

'I am afraid that Dustin has been involved in some rough play with Max and he is rather fearful. I think it is perhaps childhood exuberance, and with a little guidance all should be well', I suggested.

Mrs Honeywell surprised me by saying she had been a little concerned last week when a child from violet class called 'Panther' (a close chum and compatriot of Dustin) had been prized off poor Max in the playground by our own baby girl - Freya.

There we stood, two grown adults, talking about children called 'Panther' and 'Dustin' - what in the name of God is happening in Dulwich? Where are these names coming from? An episode of Gladiators? Panther it seems is a tiny milky pale boy with red hair, I was imagining a tall athletic dark skinned boy - how did they choose his name? From a comic? What image are we asking these children to live up to. Nothing can surprise me now. Soon I expect Freya will ask to bring children home for tea - called Knuckles and Fang.

Who are these parents and what are they trying to tell the world about themselves by giving their children these names? It should come as no surprise to them that Dustin is a bully. He is forced to fight each day in the playground just to maintain his dignity with the Ceciley's and Hugo's of this world.

My mother-in-law says these parents are simply 'NOCD' - I will not even begin to justify or explain her expression - she has used that phrase about me on more than one occasion......