Too much choice..........

I was unable to escort the children to school this morning. I could not work out how I ought to conduct myself. I am proud of Freya, but genuinely upset for her little chums - who may not be so fortunate as to have a selection of offers to consider. I could not bear to enquire of their parents what news they had, and expose our family to ridicule.

One offer from School 1 or School 2, is considered positively respectable. An offer from both prestigious schools is considered completely excessive. I simply could not face the other mothers at the school gate.

When I try to ascertain from my baby girl, which school she would prefer us to accept for her - she sayss she prefers School 3:

'because they gave me bubbles'.

This is not the best rationale on which to base our decision I have pleaded. If we could have accepted one offer by this morning, none of the mothers would discover our shame. We could never admit to our dreadfull excess.

One of the mothers with an older child at School 2 (Nathalie) informed me by telephone this morning that the school is virtually a finishing school for ladies. The only choice for a lady. Natasha also informs me that the swimming teacher is something to do with the Olympic swimming team, and that the girls who excel could be prospective athletes.... I very don't think so. My daughter is certainly not the next Sharon Davies. If I want her to have shoulders like an ox, I will allow her to carry her own bassoon and school books from an early age. She shall be the next Nicola Horlick, or at the very least the next Marie Curie.

Freya has a close chum who would like to go to School 4 - because they gave her a purple balloon. These schools are far too divisive for my liking.

We have made an appointment to visit both School 1 and School 2 tomorrow morning, so that we may make a rational objective decision.

God help us...........