Big Boys

On Monday morning at the crack of dawn, James crunched down our gravel drive on his way to Heathrow Airport for another business meeting in Japan. The darling munchkins were inconsolable when they awoke and realised daddy was gone yet again. They adore their sweet gentle father so.

Poor James, I know how much he loves being here with them. At the moment he enjoys playing with Max on that dreadful Wii games console thingy for hours on end. Apparently the boys have just found a special portal and moved up to a whole new level on the "Marvel Ultimate Alliance" game. Max can't play it by himself, he is like a lost lamb without his papa. The tot has been spending his evenings on the bottom stair in the hall, looking so glum.

Straight from Japan, James will be travelling on to Barbados for the Cricket World Cup, he is probably in the air right now. These corporate jollies are a necessary evil he tells me with large doleful eyes, as unavoidable as the far flung business meetings, necessary networking opportunities. He doesn't like to go and leave us all behind...

I am not a fool.

I know my man too well, he went to Winchester far too young. I am often invited along to join him on his little sports trips abroad, and I almost never go because they always seem turn into opportunities for random acts of nudity. My usually restrained and composed gentle man, turns into a sports yob when abroad.

James attends Cowes week annually with several of his ex public school chums for a festival of generalised bottom baring, so it's really not for me. When surrounded by the old school tie chums, you can safely assume that at least one chap will be travelling home sans eyebrows.

Indeed, my hen party consisted of a civilised day at prestigous Elemis day spa, followed by dinner at Caprice. James took his chums to Monaco for a weekend at a Grand Prix, I remember at the time being terribly impressed by their sophistication. The trip resulted in the entire party of eight being cautioned by the police. I believe on that occasion they were all wearing dresses, James had his legs waxed and his best man Geoff had been used as a toast rack and could not sit down for a month. How very tasteless and embarrassing.

It really is for the best that James gets this need to be at one with nature (or to behave like a buffoon) out of his system, as far away from my impressionable children as possible. It is as though he turns into some kind of warewolf suffering from irresistible urges when his old school chums and a sports fixture are on the cards.

I just brought diddums his supper on the stairs. Our daddy will be back with us soon, the daddy we love I reassure Max...