The Pants of Wisdom
The munchkins have just returned from a day in Beckenham with my mother, where they watched one of their favourite TV shows called "Ying Yang Yo" (I know just lately it sounds as though the darlings watch far too much TV - I can assure you they watch no more than twenty minutes per day).
Poor Max is very upset with Grandma Brenda tonight because she has been ranting on about that "dreadful show" all afternoon. Brenda was telling her friends in the park how this particular episode of "Ying Yang Yo" featured "The Knickers of Knowledge."
"It is fueling small children's pre-occupation with bottoms, poo and pants" she has been saying...
Little Max is not so much annoyed that Grandma Brenda is so easily offended - she is my mother after all... It is just that "The knickers of Knowledge" are in fact "The Pants of Wisdom"! I think that this is a complete hoot, I am a scatterbrain too you see. Grandma should however try to note, the correct phrase or term is everything to the children - they think Grandma Brenda is sooo old hat!
14 comments:
Hi, Dulwich Mum
I've just got your email and wanted to say thanks! Just getting into your blog and enjoying it a lot.
xxx
Omega Mum/3kidsnojob
Dear Omega Mum,
Welcome to my humble blog, but if you ever need serious cheering up, please visit Strife in the North and Drunk Mummy. They always make me feel good. I am thinking of you sweetie.
DM
Dear Dulwich Mum
Thanks for the advice. Maybe we'll meet at each other's fabulously well-attended (A-list only, natch) launch parties when blogs published to huge acclaim, champers, chablis etc etc
xxx
Omega Mum
Well, darling girl - of course!
DM
Knickers of Knowledge, Pants of Wisdom.......whatever next? Smalls of Intelligence? David wore his Lucky Pants yesterday to great effect!
I prefer Rilly Silly rather than Silly Vacuous. You need to sort out your problems with apostrophes. Also a teensy problem with bear vs bare. That could get you into real trouble one day.
Kids having always been fascinated by things scatological - I recall my mother having a paddy when I was growing up when one of these 'kiddy science' programmes was demonstrating the 'water cycle' and showing a cartoon graphic of a turd going along an animated sewer. Goodness knows what she would make of 'Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow'...
That said, your hubby being all annoyed about your mum finding it a bit too much reminds me of those stupid 40yr old twats who think it is de rigeur to dress like a 15yr old hoody - it isn't big, it isn't clever, it isn't cool - IT IS very stupid.
God forbid someone actually gets in "real trouble" because of accidentally using bear instead of bare. Because we all know, there is no bigger problem in the world, eh? That poverty and genocide thing means nothing compared to the misuse of a word by an otherwise brilliant writer.
There are writers, and there are editors. The two are rarely the same person. Sadly, it seems there are also pissers who hide behind "anonymous" tags to criticize others. Boo.
Quita right Babysteps!!!!
For God's sake Anonymous.... WHO CARES?!?!?!?
As ever DM, keep up the good work, this blog always makes me smile! ;-)
I wish I had some knickers of knowledge ... they might keep the wearer away from unsuitable men ...
I'm just wondering whether Anonymous complaining about your usage of apostrophe's and spelling is the same person who doesn't know her compatriots from her compatriates?
Darling DM, do not pay any attention to these knockers. Frankly you could learn to spell, but you can't teach style.
p.s. ... and anonymous if you want to correct MY spelling or grammar, don't waste your time, I could give a flying
OK, it obviously didn't. Here goes (on second glass of wine, now - probably more lucid a few minutes ago).
V fortunately have some long-standing friends who are tolerant of my whingeing and have had setbacks themselves and will (and have) removed children, dropped round and drunk a great deal with me and are always there to talk.
I don't think I could manage without them.
Here's to friends (I'm raising my glass right now..)
PS How do I post link to your site from mine - have tried but can't. Should I just quote web address and, if so, what is it?
As something of a stickler for punctuation (while paradoxically being extremely challenged by conventional systems of marks), I have some sympathy with (should that be "for"?) your anonymous commentator.
Nevertheless, I feel that the last word should be given to Lynne Truss, the Queen of the Apostrophe. Discussing the general lack of sympathy for the class of sticklers of which she is a fully signed-up member, she writes:
"In short, we are unattractive know-all obsessives who get things out of proportion and are in continual peril of being disowned by our exasperated families."
(p.5 "Eats, Shoots & Leaves, The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation. Profile Books, 2003.)
East
right now, dulwichmum, I am wearing the pants of patience, but they're wearing a bit thin I can tell you, sigh
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