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Wednesday, 5 September 2007

Domestic bliss...

James has been reading The Evening Standard Magazine again. He thinks he is all the rage, and up to date with everything current in the world of arts and media after just ten minutes undisturbed with last week's glossy Friday Magazine.

I was telling him all about the horrors of the school gate mafia this evening, pouring out my heart, assuming that he understood my angst - when he had the cheek to tell me that we are all suffering from "Affluenza in Disturbia"! The cheeky devil!

I couldn't think of a witty rebuttle, so I simply reached down and put his plate straight into the dishwasher and turned it on.

Did I forget to mention that James hadn't eaten his supper yet?

12 comments:

Kelly said...

I do hope it didn't clog up the dishwasher....that really would be a tragedy.

IngeniousRose said...

Oh no Dulwich Mum, not Affluenza? What is going to happen now James has made this self-diagnosis? Is he banning you from spending and stopping all your credit cards? This is serious DM, you must tell him he is wrong.

Frog in the Field said...

Gosh, I didn't realise you had to endure so much domestic violence from your husband, he's obviously very, very cruel. (Do remember my offer of an excellent solicitor)

Hope Ana managed to get all the bits of supper out of the filter. I suppose she may get stuck herself though, how big is she now?

Omega Mum said...

You don't fear, then, that loading a full plate of no doubt up-market and costly ingredients into the dishwasher without so much as a second thought might possibly be a symptom of the affluenza he refers to - thus strengthening his ammunition. Never give the swine any encouragement at all. Next time, post the plate and its contents straight off to some deprived nation. He'll be stumped.

DJ Kirkby said...

I laughed till I felt ill! Brilliant closing line.

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Kelly,

I am such a passionate person - I believe it is fashionable to claim to be "bi-polar!" I never even thought about the potential outcome of my action. Perhaps I am less "bi-polar" and actually more "air head!"

Perfect IngeniousRose,

He wouldn't dare to clip my wings, or I would divorce him and take all of his money...

Oh Perfect Frog,

Indeed, I tried to close the door on her! You really are a friend enquiring about my ongoing situation - she looks like the side of a bus!

Dear Omega Mum,

I shall stock up on Jiffy Bags this very morning!

dulwichmum said...

Sweet DJ Kirkby,

I was rather spiteful wasn't I! Thanks for your encouragement!

I Beatrice said...

Send him to the school gates just once! And then he'll begin to know a bit about Affluenza in Disturbia!

I'm going there for the second time round, as Grandma - and I can tell you the general atmosphere hasn't changed much in thirty years....

But 'twas ever so I fear - and doubtless always will be. Such being life.

debio said...

I always thought the Evening Standard to be a pernicious publication - rather like 'The Sun' in the evening.....

Potty Mummy said...

Or even 'The National Enquirer'...

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Poor James.....you really are a minx!

dulwichmum said...

Oh lovely Grandma I Beatrice,

Please come and be our grandma, and stand at our school gates - I shall hyperventilate soon with the stress!

Darling Debio,

You SO know what I mean here. How very dare he bring that rag into my home...

Lovely Potty Mummy,

You can read my mind!

Sweet Nunhead Mum of One,

You know me so well (sang in the manner of Elaine Paige!)