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Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Narcisist

"Its all about me."

"Really?" I replied to James. "How frightful for you darling! Are you sure you are not just being paranoid?"

"No," he said, "your blog is all about me and I have checked - you had 997 hits today! I am the laughing stock of the entire locality."

"Darling man, how dreadful for you, but it is my name on the cheque, isn't it? So, it really is all about me you know. I think I shall buy a super new Mini Clubman in canary yellow with my advance from the publisher..." (Financial freedom really is rather liberating!)

"I feel so exposed," he bellowed out after me into the hall.

"Well you should draw the curtains when you put the lights on in the lounge darling, and do tuck your shirt into your trousers. I am off to Cafe Rouge with Vashi, your dinner is in the microwave - cheerio."

Whatever does he mean "the entire locality"? - I get hits from a large number of readers in the Gulf, the USA, Australia, Canada, Morocco and France too. I think he will find that they are talking about him from further away than "the entire locality"!

Mmm, I wonder if I should invest in plantation shutters?

17 comments:

debio said...

Oh come on, DM; not just the entire locality and the USA and Canada, but the Gulf region too!

(My husband is forbidden - absolutely forbidden - to comment on my blogs; my space, my territory etc - not even general discussion....)

dulwichmum said...

OHMYGOD! I cannot apologise enough perfect Debio. I am ashamed of myself. It is quality, not quantity afterall!

Potty Mummy said...

...and that would be the reason I don't have a hit counter on my blog. Apart from the fact that Husband doesn't know it's name. Oh yes, and I would probably get totally depressed at the lack of interest as the counter refuses to move. 997 hits? Now you're just showing off...(she said enviously)

Omega Mum said...

It's the shorts, tell him. THE SHORTS. Does he not understand?

beta mum said...

But has anyone yelled at him in the pub -
"Why does she sleep with you then?"

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Potty Mummy,

Get yourself a hit counter - you can even see who is watching you!

Darling Omega Mum,

Indeed, the shorts must go. They look even worse when he wears his crocs!

Perfect Beta Mum,

Indeed, I have the energy and inclination to sleep with my husband, I just don't choose to stay awake with him! If you only knew how that man has trampled my love into the tumbled marble flooring (with underfloor heating - clearly)...

Frog in the Field said...

Ha Ha!, love this one, also your replies to comments are brilliant as usual. Another great laught out loud story!
But, I've missed something and don't know how, but tell me about the shorts?? Please?

dulwichmum said...

Perfect Frog,

You are too kind. As you know, there are those men who find it impossible to "do" casual. The kind of men who consider themselves casually dressed if they open their top button. They will always wear cuff links, pin stripe shirts and black brogues - even on Saturdays with their jeans. James is such a man, and darling Omega Mum noticed this in a previous post - where James wore a tie with some shorts - 30th August (Maternity Ring).

rilly super said...

I think a little bit of Carly Simon is called for here dulwichmum

Pig in the Kitchen said...

And France dear DM, even where the loo paper scratches we are reading all about him.
Pigx

DJ Kirkby said...

Honestly! You'd think he'd be flattered that we are all so interested in what makes him the man he is...sigh. Men need too much ego massage at times, I think this calls for another diamond, to show his true appreciation of all you do for him.

dulwichmum said...

Darling Rilly,

You are sooo right! He is so vain!

Sweet Pig,

The ammendment is made, I really am an air head!

Dear DJ Kirkby,

I know you are right, and I am almost forty - I think a major gift is called for!

Vanessa said...

!advance from the publisher..."? Is there something DM needs to tell us?

dulwichmum said...

Dear Vanessa,

I thought you knew! My first book is currently being edited - to be published by The Friday Project in April 2008, and I am three quarters through my second!

Vanessa said...

Aah. I had heard on the grapevine but didn't know if it was general knowledge - or indeed that it was so imminent. Will look forward to it.

dulwichmum said...

Thank you vanessa. You are very kind.

Natural Blonde said...

Aha! I too am thinking about investing in some plantation shutters!! It must be something about the locality,although I am laughing from Tuscany this evening....