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Wednesday, 2 April 2008


We recently visited my husband's vile work colleague Annabelle at her capacious home in Chiswick. Her son Hugo adores my poppets - well of course he does, they are angels and perfect role models...

Annabelle constantly berates us for living in south east London. She savours every available opportunity to make fun of us because we live "on the front line," as she so kindly terms it.

"It is no wonder that you drive a tank. I believe that it is necessary for everyone in that part of London to tote some sort of military hardware..."

"An Audi Q7 is not in any way related to a British Army Challenger Tank darling," I protest. (Grrr, that woman is lucky I don't own a gun...)

Annabelle also enjoys sending us up for what she interprets as our hot-housing of the munchkins - insisting that we force them to study.

I have been begging my progeny to allow me to play pop music in the car of late... fearing that they will miss out on so very much with two mature parents, hoping that they would display evidence of their care free childhood and love of current chart hits when we next visit Annabelle's abode.

"No, please NO," object Freya and Max in unison, as I endeavour to sneakily introduce some Take That into their musical diet. "Let us listen to our Sing the times tables CD or our Muzzy French. Turn this frightful racket off," they chime.

By all accounts, just this week Annabelle's anaemic son Hugo has been watching music videos 0n Youtube with his Latvian au pair. Annabelle was incredibly smug. We are the angry mob by the Kaiser Chiefs is apparently his special favourite and he even sang for us (I swear that boy is tone deaf!).

"We are the hungry Bob
We read the papers everyday day
We like who like
We hate who we hate
And don't get in our way."

That child is bristling with aggression and every inch of his mother. Freya sat quietly, listening to Hugo's recital, casually occupied with her Nintendo DS Brain Training exercises (I was very embarrassed) before pointing out that Hugo was singing the wrong words (OHMYGOD!). The boy was crushed, but I smiled like a Cheshire cat for the rest of the afternoon.


Rosie said...

Oh Dulwich Mum, I have to side with your darling munchkins when they say Take That is a frightful racket. I know this will offend you deeply as you have a 'thing' for Gazza Barlow but feel as a blog friend it is only right that I alert you to this.

In a Take That vs Kaiser Chiefs competition I would have to vote for Kaiser Chiefs. Very sorry. Please don't delete my comment or edit it!!!

zoe said...

You mean - you haven't introduced your poppets to Queen yet??? Sacré bleu - Queen ARE the answer to music. Tell the littl'uns that I said so.

Just do NOT, on any account, have them call me 'Auntie' Zoe. Even my nephew and nieces aren't allowed to.

Expatmum said...

I have to agree with Zoe - Queen seem to be everywhere, and who can argue with rock opera - "A Night at the Opera" at that? I suggest a full dress rehearsal next Wednesday evening of the entire words of Bohemian Rhapsody and then a drinx potty forthwith to show off your darlings' new repetoire.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Just like dear Harriet Harman who wore a bullet proof jacket to visit her Peckham constituents - sending out the wrong message methinks!

Mac enjoys Kylie, the Beatles and Wham (Jitterbug being a particular favourite) but he is also enjoying those educational CDs you bought for his birthday. It's quite unnerving to have a four year old correct your grammar.

aims said...

Dearest Dulwich Mum - Your husband does insist on dragging you and your perfect children around to some of the most 'challenging' people! I'm assuming it's because he loves to show off just how perfect you are - instead of that he doesn't know anyone with real - shall we say class?

What a burden you bear - but you do so with such bravado - you put me to shame!

dulwichmum said...

Oh Rosie darling,

Are you quite sure? Tell me you adore Gary and his tunes as much as I, please say it is not true...(sniff)

Zoe sweetie,

I suppose some of Queen's melodies are quite catchy...

Lovely Expatmum,

That sounds like a super plan! I shall head straight to the shops for some sheet music first thing tomorrow.

Dearest Nunhead Mum of One,

Thats my cyber nephew (sigh). I am more than proud.

Aims! My super and special chum,

Can I pour you a lovely big drink of something alcaholic?

Retiredandcrazy said...

I asked before and I ask again, are you for real?

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Retired and Crazy,



mrs_inaction_man said...

No! No! No! Darling DM. You must persist in widening your munchkins' musical taste, although I cannot condoned exposing the poor things to take that. My own darling boy, who is just 3 as you know, has been exposed to all manner of music since a tiny baby and endlessly entertains my friends with his rendition of "Stop Me" by the Smiths, "You Talk" by Babyshambles. Just this morning he was singing "health-service glasses; gigolos and brasess; round or skinny bottoms" to a very trendy thespian friend I am trying to cultivate. That boy is the best sidekick I have ever had!

dulwichmum said...

Darling Mrs Inaction Man,

I know it is frightfully trendy to hand around with thespians, but it is still frowned upon by the Roman Catholic church, so I am afraid that you are far more cosmopolitan than I.