Ginger

Isn't it simply darling, the way that the little ones can become so very attached to some particular cuddly toy or another? Max has his much loved 'Polo Bear' - not a polar bear, but a brown 'Ralph Lauren' bear that some serf in James' office brought home from America for our baby son, shortly after he was born.

I hate Ralph Lauren (it's so common), so Polo 'lost' his loud red jumper with the logo shortly after his arrival. Max instantly loved Polo Bear, and so 'that was that', he became an important member of our family.

Freya has a small grey whale she calls 'Ginger' (I know it's not an obvious name for a grey whale), and she too, is very attached to him. I can't remember where Ginger came from. The children no longer need to bring their special comfort toys everywhere with them during the day, but even now they could never sleep at night or take long journeys in the car without Polo Bear and Ginger.

Our children are really extensions of ourselves. They can read us so well, and always pick up on our moods and anxieties, it is no wonder they turn to their toys for comfort. We must be so careful of what we say in front of the children. They are not diplomatic, and say whatever comes into their heads, repeating everything they hear and usually are too honest for their own good.

Children are never simply quiet - they are always listening, always learning....

Henry (my brother in law) has introduced many of his girlfriends to us over the years. Bianca (last year) was a 'dancer' too - although I didn't get the impression that she was a ballerina like Helena. From the way that she dressed, I assumed that she was more of an 'exotic' dancer. I couldn't bring myself to ask.

I think Henry brought Bianca to our home to make us uncomfortable - knowing I would fear that the neighbours would see her. Bianca had long finger nails like great jewel coloured bananas, and her mane of bleached hair could not possibly have grown from her head - it grew from a bob to waist length over the course of a few weeks. She left bright red lip-stick marks on my children's faces, and her jewellery jingled loudly when she walked on her dangerously high shoes.

Bianca noticed Freya's love of Ginger, and remarked on the way our baby girl liked to rub her ear lobe with the little fury whale. I don't know why Freya does this, she just does.

'What is your toy saying to you?', Bianca asked Freya one Saturday morning.

Freya looked at Bianca as though she had just landed off the moon and replied dismissively:

'Ginger is just a toy, he can't talk, you silly'.

Oh dear, Freya was rather hostile. She will have picked that up from me. I was afraid that Bianca would slice up the children with her great finger nails, it was like having Edward Scissor Hands as a babysitter.

During the same visit I remember poor Bianca asking Freya:

'Why do you call your grey whale 'Ginger'?'

Freya replied in a superior tone:

'Because that is his name'.

I have been careful ever since to try to restrain and work on my prejudices and small mindedness, protecting the poor impressionable children. It would be dreadful indeed to pass on such prejudices to Freya, she could grow up to be like Grandma Elizabeth - or me!

Perhaps my mother in law and I are more alike than we would care to admit!