Oh Mother
Last night I was feeling dreadful at the end of a day filled with tears and mayhem - my Mothers Day. At about 8.30pm, in swept my mother having earlier attended her book group at the home of a local widower Magistrate. My mother belongs to a group for widowed Roman Catholics - a form of speed dating as far as she is concerned. I had completely forgotten that I had agreed to drive her home.
I bought her flowers and wrapped a nice box of chocolates, and the children had made her a special card, although they were already in bed an hour before she arrived. I presented her the gifts with a kiss on each cheek, and she gave me a small wrapped book entitled "365 Inspirational Bible Readings for Mothers" - hurrah, one for every day of the year!
Mother could see that I was having a bad day.
"Lets see what your special book has to offer you for today", she cheerily volunteered in her best Irish accent.
"Yes", I said dryly, "lets just see"...
"I offered my back to those that stuck me, my cheeks to those who tore at my beard; I did not cover my face against insult and spittle".
"That's you!" she enthused...
"Whatever are you saying mother? I do get the very very occasional strong hair on my chin since I reached the other side of thirty, but I am not growing a beard", I laughed.
I think it was best that James drove her home, she was not amused at all.
Wherever she was going with that little snippet, it so cheered me up! Perhaps it was from God, especially for me as she said. The book shall come in handy I agree, we were running out of cat litter...
Mother thinks I am pure evil since I married "outside the faith" she is probably right...
4 comments:
Oh your mother and my mother are sisters! Clearly.
I have never truely been forgiven for marrying 'outside the faith' Not as you might imagine some weird and wonderful man who worships a tribal god or 3 (note the small 'g' because unless God is Catholic He is not a true God) No, I merely had the audacity to marry a lapsed C of E man. Proddy! and now have the equivalent of 'half caste' children. Tainted.
ps Dont tell my mother my blob name either, she might suspect something.
Irish Roman Catholic mothers sound almost as good as Jewish ones!
My mother just kind of ignores the fact that I'm a lapsed Catholic, although she is not above leaving a Rosary in the baby's room. My father, on the other hand (he who was studying to be a priest and decided dating my mum would be more fun) is horrified that I married "one of those" Protestants, and worse, had my children baptised outside "The Faith". He still hasn't forgiven me. In fact, I strongly suspect he has snuck holy water into my house and done a lay-baptism so that his little heathen grandchildren won't go to purgatory.
Ha, ha, ha. We all suffer from these RC Mums! My lovely sister has four hindu children with her delightful Indian doctor husband. My mother has taken them all to see the parish priest (without the knowledge of my sister) and had them Christened without their parent's consent. Is that not technically assault I have asked her? She says it is better than her grandchildren going to hell. They are all mad!
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