Spring

I left my darling chicks this fine bright morning rather earlier than usual. I had a full day of interviewing potential graduate trainees ahead of me.

There they lay on the carpet, having finished their wholemeal bagels and milk, and leafing through the latest copy of the Mini Boden catalogue, selecting their Spring wardrobe. Max wants every t-shirt that has a shark on the front (three) and Freya will not be wearing skirts or dresses. That is the life.......... They really are a lucky pair, I would love not to work sometimes.

'Have you brushed your teeth?' I asked, before I ran out the door. I received no reply. Even now they look at me as though I am silly when I ask them the most sensible questions. 'Ana will take care of that', I thought and left. I am so lucky with my wonderful au pair.

My mother came for lunch on Sunday, and so I had the time to read again through the application forms to prepare for today. Mother asked:

'You won't employ anyone with a 'first' - surely?'

'Well, I would hope so', I replied. 'We have some very strong candidates here, several firsts from Oxbridge actually'.

'No, you can't employ a first, and certainly not from Oxbridge - that would be such a mistake', - she insisted.

'Whatever are you talking about mother?' I snapped.

'Some chap gets a first from Oxbridge - well he is too studious - clearly, he would have Asbergers! He has not been in the students union bar even once, and he certainly will not have had the time for sport or being a member of the debating society now will he? He is not a team player, can't co-operate with others, no communication skills at all.'

'I can see where you are coming from mother, but where are you gaining your insight from?' I asked sarcastically (she hasn't worked outside the home since 1963).

'I wouldn't even interview someone with a 3rd, she insisted, or a 2:2, but a 2:1 - an all rounder I would say, from a red brick university, but not from Oxbridge - those people are born with silver spoons - and they expect the world owes them a living,' she insisted most authoritatively.

Has she been listening to Radio 3 again? Perhaps she has been reading a newspaper instead of The Daily Mail, or talking to her crazy next door neighbour Mrs Jones? My mother will always treat me as though I am a small child who needs to be directed in everything I do.

This afternoon, I selected a candidate with a first from Oxford, who swam the channel for the Tsunami appeal, So there mother. I still love to get my own way.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am sure that boy had Asbergers.