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Friday, 9 November 2007

Personal Grooming

This morning my super PA Lydia burst into my office and wept openly about the dreadful calamity which had befallen her first thing in Tooting! The poor baby had been making her way to the tube station when a drunken wastrel had cornered her and insisted that she handed over her money and jewelry!!!

Super techno Lydia handed over her cash willingly (£2.73 in total, apparently) and resisted surrendering her trinkets to the vagabond as one piece was her grandmother's engagement ring... Lydia related to me how she had insisted to the vagrant that the adornments were not made from precious metals and that the stones were merely cubic zirconia. The bandit inspected her rings closely and fell for her story, leaving Lydia with the precious trinkets intact.

"OHMYGOD Lydia!!!" I cried.

This was outrageous, I couldn't quite believe what she was telling me.

"You should be ashamed of yourself." I accused...

I have tried so hard with this girl, encouraging her to have regular manicures, to purchase good quality hosiery, and discouraging her little trips to the footwear department of Primark etc.

"Get yourself some hand cream and some self respect!!!"

Can you believe that the girl was happy about her ability to convince a vagrant that she looked cheap???


Hayley said...

Some women just don't get it do they?

debio said...

Good heavens, dm; is the latest 'must-have' in Dulwich-land first hand experience of a street mugging? I'm afraid I shall be soooo passe on my return.....

Great post!

dulwichmum said...

Darling Hayley,

I keep on trying to get through to her!

Lovely Debio,

Tooting is at least four miles away, and an entire other universe as far as I am concerned. You and I remain virtual identical twins (although you are the one with the kinder nature - clearly!)


lady macleod said...

You are such a saint to carry on in the face of such ignorance!

Elsie Button said...

i am so so excited about your book!

PS there's nothing wrong with primark - for me, it is a godsend!

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Dear one, I remember the time when you convinced James that the very expensive ring you purchased with one of your bonus cheques was Grandma Audrey's "paste and gilt ring darling".

dulwichmum said...

Darling Lady MacLeod,

Sometimes I despair, I am not ashamed to admit!

Sweet Elsie,

Thank you so much for being so sweet. I am afraid that I am a dreadful snob. Thank you for bearing with me.

Lovely Nunhead Mum Of One,

Shhh. He still thinks that it is fake!