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Thursday, 22 November 2007

Oh happy day!

Darling James has been rather perplexed of late. All is not well in Private Equity land... It seems that my super husband's plans to retire by Christmas must be put to one side for the time being. (Hurrah! How can he possibly feel assured that he has earned enough to retire on? Has he no idea how much I could spend before I die?)

He has been insisting that we must live more frugally and even confiscated my prestigious credit card!!! James was rather alarmed by my expenditure during our recent shopping trip to New York - but it was my birthday, what did he expect?

James is such a wise and clever husband... he likes to believe.

He would not like to leave me without a contingency fund however, just for emergencies you understand. He is aware that I hate to carry cash.

James has issued me with a dreadfully embarrassing Glasgow Rangers Football Club credit card! Can you believe it? He doesn't know a thing about football - that vile blue card would even offend my Roman Catholic mother, and she would be happy to use most forms of credit! James knows that I love to use my Black American Express card, he is aware of the cachet if provides for me, I just love to produce it and regard the expression on peoples faces. James is hoping to shame me out of shopping.

My poor deluded man...

Don't panic dear friends... I have discovered this web site! Has he no comprehension of the pleasures to be experienced while shopping on the Internet? I am not even required to leave my desk house. This directory has provided me with the inspiration to completely re-vamp my knicker drawer this very afternoon - don't you just love natural fibres? I was not forced to show my shameful new credit card to a single soul! Indeed, I have spent so much time and money on the Sheer Luxe web site over the last 72 hours, that the lovely editor has offered me a column!

If God had intended that women should provide for themselves, he would never have invented marriage! I know just how to soothe darling James when he sees the bill.


Pig in the Kitchen said...

Oh DM you put it so well. I am speechless at the card, how on earth could you get it out in public without wearing a heavy disguise?

Potty Mummy said...

DM, you are outrageous. I LOVE it. And I'm assuming that there is a small discount involved in return for the wise words you are contributing in your new column? Fame pays, indeed...

IngeniousRose said...

Super talented Dulwich Mum! Very much enjoyed 'A Girls Night In'. Would it be very rude of me to mention that I did smile to myself when I noticed that you are still 'a late-thirties mum'? Probably. Apologies!

Frog in the Field said...

How very true indeed.

I do feel alarmed at the mental torture of such a horrendous credit card, this is a new low.

dulwichmum said...

Lovely Pig,

I know. Isn't it shameful? I have been out to the "hole in the wall" on Croxted Road just now, and I can take out £250 per day with that shameful card! It was dark and no-one saw me. I have an appointment with Nicky Clarke on Saturday morning, I WILL NOT show that card in there!

Sweet Potty Mummy,

Indeed, simply stacks of cash... but don't tell James - I prefer to spend his cash.

Perfect Ingenious Rose,


Dearest Frog,

It is indeed mental torture. I am terribly stoic though... (te he)

NumberOneScumMum said...

There may be a silver lining after all, darling dm, for were James truly in the position to retire, how would you cope with him hanging round the house all day. It doesn't bear thinking about.

dulwichmum said...

Indeed Darling Numberonescummum,

I never ever wanted him to retire - hanging around the house all day with our au pair is completely out of the question for my husband!

Suzanne Ashley said...

Thanks for the top tips on - my sister in law has a baby due on the 9th january and she loves a bit of luxe. The Bill Amberg's look right up her - sorry, the baby's - street!

DJ Kirkby said...

Still laughing hysterically over your first paragraph!

Pikey Watch said...

Hello, new to your blog, and love it! You are a very funny lady. I'm with you on the blue card.

lady macleod said...

brilliant! The cure to a barrier placed to shopping is another path - very spiritual of you.

congratulations on the column!!! Huzzah. Even now you are on the list of: Yes, I knew her when she was just a classy blogger."

My heroine.

dulwichmum said...

Sweet Neighbour!

Isn't it simply to die for? Have you checked out the lingerie sites?OHMYGOD! They are better than Fenwick on Christmas eve!

Darling DJ Kirkby,

I can't imagine why you find my conundrum entertaining. James will only know how much money we required after we have died!

Lovely Pikey Watch,

Welcome to my blog. It really is the best hobbie known to woman!

Lady MacLeod,

I am honoured. You are so on the list of mine!

debio said...

Glasgow Rangers??? I thought dear James was Welsh?

Do you think he might be entering into the spirit of Jordan and Peter just a tad too much?

Congratulations on the column - I am claiming bragging rights on your pending celebrity status!

dulwichmum said...

Darling Debio,

Indeed yes, James is Welsh - but Glasgow Rangers are traditionally protestant and hate Roman Catholic Celtic (my man does his research) - he really should be ashamed of himself. Even religious bigotry could not deter me from shopping...

Anonymous said...

To be frugal at the extreme, is always uncomfortable at first time :)

J.C. Carvill