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Saturday, 14 July 2007

Articulate

I had a bizarre discussion yesterday with my chum Lesley. I must admit I was a little startled by her language when I answered the telephone. I found it difficult to follow the conversation to begin with but eventually I grasped the important issue…

“I would like to enquire as to whether your filly would like to conjugate with my progeny for a little distraction on the morrow. Perhaps until sunset? Indeed, we can also accommodate your son and heir."

I was initially startled I must admit, but agreed to allow the children to go for a play date to Lesley’s house.

“It will indeed cheer and enliven my offspring when I convey the news,” she said. “I shall dispatch the au pair to rendezvous at your residence at thirteen hundred hours”…

Lesley’s super Polish au pair Magda has been working with the family for almost a full year, and her spoken English is now so fluent that she can confidently read to the children and help with their homework. Magda is a graduate, and has been talking recently about her desire to find an office job in London and move into a flat with some friends. Lesley is clearly alarmed by Magda’s plan and is becoming increasingly verbose in an effort to undermine Magda’s confidence.

By the end of my conversation with Lesley, I was convinced that I am not articulate enough to integrate into an English workplace myself! Honestly, the lengths some people will go to in an effort to keep good help. I have learned a lot from Lesley, she really is quite an inspiration…

9 comments:

mutterings and meanderings said...

I do hope Lesley has taught her the English for contraception... ;)

DJ Kirkby said...

Ah gawd I was confused reading this and thought she was talking about horses at first. I think I may need to re-learn English... Nannies are not worth the ehart ache they always leave in the end or so my distraught pregnant clients often tell me...

Omega Mum said...

By the sounds of things, your friend is approaching fluency in Waffle. She may need Magda to teach her real English again.

Motheratlarge said...

Magda might not hack it in a London office job, but a Berkshire stables could be just the place after a year or so of this.

IngeniousRose said...

We may need Magna up here as my daughter has started correcting MY language.

Drunk Mummy said...

Doubtless Lesley can sign her whole family up for Polish lessons. That way, if they all speak Polish at home, Magda is bound to lose her fluency in English. It's really not too much to ask, if you want to keep good staff!

gaelikaa said...

Why doesn't she just make Magda an offer she can't refuse? Like a salary hike or somethynge? By the way, according to Lesley's language on the phone, I thought she was inviting you to send your horses over to her place for breeding purposes!!!!!!!

lady macleod said...

I'm with Lesley on this, whatever it takes babe.

Elsie Button said...

I bet Magda says to her friends down the pub 'my boss is seriously losing the plot, i need to get out quick'