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Friday, 6 July 2007

Rubber

I have been to visit a super clinic this afternoon as recommended to me by my chum Vashi. I went to consult "The Filler King" just to investigate the possibilities.

The skin on this doctor's face seemed thickened and rubbery. His lips appreared to just flop open when his face was at rest - in the manner of a dribbling baby, and his forehead was motionless. No, no, no, this is not for me I thought...

It is such a shame that this 'look' has become so common place. In my opinion the fabulous Trinny is displaying an increasing resemblence to Miss Piggy as the episodes of that makeover show flit past. The doctor really was terribly charming, and I must admit - despite his own strangely motionless face I was ultimately powerless to resist. He practically buttered my face with anaesthetic Emla cream before he commenced (I am such a baby) and now I am terrified to even look in a mirror to inspect his work.

OHMYGOD... What have I done?

Apparently my lips will "calm down" over the next few days!!! The creases from my nose to my mouth have virtually disappeared (I am sure I have a trout pout) and my forehead furrows are no more. My super PA Lydia looked after the poppets while I was off visiting the consulting rooms, and when I returned she appeared overwhelmed but I was not sure whether it as a result of my munchkins' behaviour or my bizarre facial expression.

The chicks commenced their summer holidays just yesterday, and poor pregnant Ana (the au pair) just wants to sleep. The early days of pregnancy are just so very difficult. I am hoping that by the time James comes in from work tonight I will be asleep and my this nightmare of a day will just disappear. Things are going from bad to worse here in Alleyn Road. I thank the Lord himself that there is a Majestic Wine Warehouse practically on my door step.

11 comments:

Omega Mum said...

As long as he doesn't botox your fingers and you can continue to blog, let him do his worst. And a trout pout can, I believe, be surprisingly alluring.

Frog in the Field said...

You look simply marvellous, Darling.
Once you get used to the new you, it will be fine. You're very brave though, what does James think? He has noticed, I hope?

dulwichmum said...

Darling Omega Mum,

Now that I have had a chance to look in the mirror - and I have been assured that my lips will soon reduce in size, I can see the attraction in this sort of "work".

Super Frog in the Field,

Thank you for your kind support. James has been in his office again this morning, he is up to something major in the world of private equity and I don't imagine he would notice if we took the doors off their hinges and painted our faces green. You know I may consider some further minor adjustments...

IngeniousRose.wordpress.com said...

Gosh Dulwich Mum, you are brave! Does that mean you need to sip alcohol through a straw for a while?

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Darling, I barely recognised you! Don't worry, it's not a trout pout as such....you could pass for my younger sister!

lady macleod said...

Oh my shades of Liza Minelli? I am sure it will all "calm down" and be brilliant, if not call that chap who works on Joan Rivers. She is so remade she now has a complete little person formed from the removed saggy parts who carries her luggage.

dulwichmum said...

Dear Ingenious Rose,

No indeed, I can drink normally - now...

Lovely Nunhead Mum of One,

Do you really think so?

Super Lady MacLeod,

OHMYGOD, I forgot about Liza. I had better never do this again - ever. I could end up looking like David Guest or Joan Rivers - (sob).

DM

I Beatrice said...

Now why did you have to go and do something like that, DM? I'm sure you looked perfectly gorgeous as you were!

And there's a salutary warning there from Lady M, don't you think?

Stay as you are anyway - and next time you're tempted think of (can't remember her name but I think they call her the Lion Woman or something of the sort), and hold back...

How very early your children have broken up btw. My g/children still have two weeks to go. Yours must be VERY POSH INDEED!

debio said...

Please update when all calmed down - just deciding how to re-build my face so any hands-on experience appreciated!

dulwichmum said...

Dear I Beatrice,

The Lion Woman! OHMYGOD (wail, sniff and sob, sob, sob). Never again, never, I promise.

Sweet Debio,

I believe one should only go to a practitioner as recommended by someone who does not look like that Lion Woman!

mutterings and meanderings said...

I'm sure you look lovely, a la Liz Hurley...