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Friday, 25 May 2007

Interview with the South London Press

Really though, I genuinely thought lovely Tom Parnell (the reporter) was from The Times Style Supplement. He arrived with a bottle of my favourite Chablis, and a super boxed bottle of Krug for the fridge! How could I resist? On reflection, perhaps I was a touch naive, but hey, sometimes you just have to take the opportunities that present themselves. My lovely friend Piers took this super photo of me looking out over the trampolines in the back garden to go with the article!

This is his the interview Tom published in his sweet little paper this morning:

For the uninitiated what is Dulwichmum's blog about?

It is my online diary which I started as a result of a particularly traumatic experience with a psychotic, surgically enhanced au pair. I am a working mother in my late thirties with two small children living in leafy Dulwich, south east London. I just poured out my heart in the blog, and the rest is history!

How did you feel when your blog took off?

Puzzled really, I couldn’t work out how people were discovering it. I am a complete technophobe and find it difficult to do anything with a computer other than use “Google” and indulge in a little on line shopping. My site wasn’t even coming up on search engines yet, and my readership was increasing steadily – I suppose by word of mouth.

Who are your readers?

I get a large number of hits from big financial institutions in the city and a good proportion from the USA, I also have lots of new chums who read it from the super East Dulwich Forum. I get stacks of fan mail from darling city type men who ask me if I am in fact their wife. I also receive a number of abusive comments on my blog entries, no doubt from people who are jealous of my luxury vehicle and spectacular figure for a woman of almost forty years old.

What does the mysterious Dulwichmum look like?

I suppose physically I compare favorably to Liz Hurley, but to be fair, facially I bear a striking resemblance to Cilla Battersby off Coronation Street.

What are the essential accessories of Dulwichmum?

A designer handbag is a complete essential, as are white jeans and an enormous luxury four by four environmentally unfriendly vehicle. Why I just click the central locking on my super car and entire families of polar bears plunge to their death through melting arctic ice sheets.

Do you have a favorite blog entry?

“Wholemeal”, from November 2006. This entry chronicles how very stressful and competitive the school gates can be. When I was at home full time I obsessed about every minute detail of the children’s upbringing. From vaccinations to organic food, fish oils to play groups and school selection, my life was a complete neurotic nightmare.

In one of your posts, you describe how you caught your husband gawping at your au pair as she tried out one of your children’s trampolines, do you think the two things mix?

Only if you don’t mind losing your self esteem, your au pair and potentially your husband too. Au pairs tend to be young, pert and energetic. Husbands seem to admire those characteristics in teenage European females leaping about on their trampolines.

If you have a super slim young attractive au pair, she will look great on the trampoline but will not cost that much to feed. Yet, if you select a fuller figured au pair, although she may be reluctant to take exercise and your husband may not be attracted to her, her dietary requirements could well cost a small fortune. Feeding her could be like throwing buns to an elephant!

It may be for the best to do the family food shop on Ocado, but have a monthly delivery of frozen carbohydrates from Iceland in this situation. Oven chips really are a God send.

What is the book going to be like and when will it be out?

My book “Sex, Lies and Sellotape – confessions of a betamum” will be out in April 2008. It is the diary of an average Dulwich mother – treading the fine line between conscientious mothering and complete insanity.

Will we be seeing Dulwichmum at celebrity parties and dining out at The
Ivy with the likes of Daniel Craig?

Clearly! Although I met Daniel at a private party recently and he has ginger eyelashes and halitosis. I shall make it my business to meet Gary Barlow and Ray Winstone – yum!

What are Dulwichmum's plans for the future?

I am looking forward to writing a sit-com based around the neurotic independent school mummies of South London. I have so much material for it! Do you have a corkscrew?


Nunhead Mum of One said...

Darling, I thought that the slight shadow to the bottom right of the picture was in fact the top of Ana's head as she bounced on the trampoline - but then I remembered you had banned her from it indefinitely.

You really do suit green you know


Drunk Mummy said...

Dear Dulwich Mum - wonderful interview!
I am puzzled by one tiny detail - when did Ray Winstone become an object of lust?
A bottle of Chablis AND a bottle of Krug? Mr Parnell obviously knows the way to your heart. Enjoy it all, dear!

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Ray Winstone, as I'm sure DM would agree, is a fine figure of a man. Once whiff of him strutting around the screen as Henry VIII and I'm all a-quiver!

lady macleod said...

Fabulous and funny. You're a celebrity. Now you can get the best table at Butler's and a personal shopper at Harrods. Have another glass.

dulwichmum said...

Oh dear Nunheadmumofone,

I do love Emerald green it must be said. You know me so well!

Darling Drunk Mummy,

I have been hooked on Ray Winstone ever since I saw him play Henry VIII, I think it is his enormous hands that drew me to him. Grrr

Sweet Lady Macleod,

Isn't it all a hoot?


NumberOneScumMum said...

Darling DM, you are now indeed a media whore.... all you need now is a maid for your kitchen.
We love you, N1SM
p.s. I notice you vanquished rival is still skulking around. Pathetic

mutterings and meanderings said...

And you have taken to this interviewing lark like the proverbial duck to water!

You're a stra, Dulwichmum...

debio said...

Controlling the interview like a true pro!

Love the atmospheric 'shot'. Will you be releasing any full-frontals?

(Soooo well done!)

dulwichmum said...

Darling Numberonescummum,

Oh dear? Have I demonstrated similar characteristics to Jordan once again? Well she did have the best selling book in the UK last year, so I shall take that as a compliment...

Dear M&M,

The journalist was such a super smashing chap. He even tried out the trampoline with Ana!

Debio Darling,

I love that shot too, looking out over the back garden. I shall continue to try to remain anonymous, James is insistant on maintaining our privacy.

Thanks very much my super chums.

Keith said...

You go girl! ;-)

Marianne said...

Darling DM, you have let it all hang out while I was looking the other way. Well done you! Hope you will still talk to us humble jobbing bloggers (albeit pretty quiet ones these days).

EmmaK said...

Great news DM, and an amusing interview.

Motheratlarge said...

Well done, DM.

rilly super said...

darling, you are going to be a hit for sure. knock 'em dead girl!

Rilly XX

NumberOneScumMum said...

Darling DM... my comments weren't a reference to Jordan (although "Katie and Peter: the next chapter" is my guiltiest pleasure) but to Jerry Hall. I hope you find this a more flattering comparison