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Saturday, 5 May 2007


I always envied Katie Bancroft. I would simply have a boyfriend, but she would "take a lover." It all seemed positively glamorous and tasteful.

Roger was based in New York, in The World Trade Centre actually, it was all rather a while ago. Out of the blue, Roger would phone Katie from Heathrow, and announce that he had just arrived in London and was sending a car to pick her up. He would whisk Katie away, perhaps three or four times a year. They would stay at The Hempel, or go to Milan, Barcelona or Rome. Katie would return with lots of shopping, a broad smile, cystitis and beard rash.

I thought she must love Roger,... I hoped. My mother said there was a name for girls like Katie;

"A Mistress?" I suggested wistfully,

"A call girl" sneered my mother.

You see, because you are sitting at your desk in your house or office reading this, you are not thinking this is anything outrageous. You have heard of well educated pretty girls having rich older unattractive lovers before, no big deal. We have all become accustomed to tall tales in books, but this was my flat mate. She was pretty, and bright, and this is true!!! This guy was rather unattractive, rather middle aged, rather boring and terribly well off. He would provide Katie with little light blue boxes of diamond "trinkets" on a regular basis.

Shortly after I was married and moved out of our shared flat in Gainsboro Court, the dreadful terrorist attrocities of 9-11 occurred. Poor Katie was frantic with worry and in a state of shock and mourning. Roger's mobile phone number and direct line to his office were not answering.

Then joy of joys about two weeks later, Roger turned up on Katie's doorstep! He had luckily been made redundant in the days before the Twin Towers were destroyed, and had been too depressed and ashamed initially to tell any of his chums in the UK. Then there had been the chaos that followed the attacks...

Well, Katie was completely overwhelmed. I remember saying:

"Katie, what are you going to do, is Roger going to move in? You must be so relieved?"

"No", she replied curtly.

"I have put an end to the relationship. There have been so many job losses of late in the financial sector, Roger will clearly be unemployed for an age"

James was not in the least bit shocked. I suppose there really is no love involved when one is simply a "Lover"...


Omega Mum said...

There's a moral to this one, isn't there? I only ever got one similar offer - a small, boring man again - I suspect it's on account of the large, interesting ones not needing to try so hard. I turned it down......And look at me now.

antarctichousehusband said...

That Katie Bancroft sounds awfully sensible to me ... sad, but sensible nonetheless.

dulwichmum said...

Dear Omega Mum,

You must assist me at every point with regard to raising dear Freya. I must be sure that she makes the right life choices.

Sweet Antarctichousehusband,

Beautiful Katie still lives in our old flat in Gainsboro Court - she owns it now, and she is single. She is forty later this year. Sometimes she can be far too sensible for her own good!

AntiScam said...

Dear Dulwichmum,

This sounds like a 1960's movie with Marilyn Monroe! Have you ever considered writing writing a musical?

debio said...

But...oh so much better to be treated as a 'lover', than to develop the relationship so he sees you as a 'mother'.

beta mum said...

I never had any interesting offers like that - although, now I come to think of it, maybe I did have, but I didn't notice them.
I was having too much fun at the time, being young, broke, wild and artistic.
And now look at me...

mutterings and meanderings said...

I think, given her later behaviour, you mother's description was quite near the mark ...

dulwichmum said...

Antiscam dear,

Forgive me, was Marilyn Monroe in a musical? I shall start immediately by singing this post to the air of 'Oaklahoma' and see how I get on.

Dear Debio,

So this has happened in your relationship as well as mine?...

Dear Beta Mum,

I wish I had been wild and artistic, but I was raised a Roman Catholic. I have missed so much!

Dear M & M,

Basically, my mother is always right!


debio said...

Not the current one....but I have a past!
I am confident that I have found my 'lover' this time around - an exceptional man whom I adore!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Beard rash...I had forgotten about beard rash!