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Monday, 4 December 2006


We have just been informed..., if James and I are finding it a struggle to keep up with our homework at the nursery, we will be in serious trouble when our son progresses to pre prep!

We attended a Christmas meal last night for parents of the children in the nursery. Our good friends Emma and Giles (with an older son in the year ahead), described their recent struggle to complete an assignment.

Last weekend, little Timmy was set the task of constructing a 'biblical house'?, using only lolly sticks, cellotape and sand paper as materials. Jane is a CEO of a major high street bank, and her husband is a dentist. She did not wish to let her six year old down, and so, she paid her nanny three hours overtime, in order that she and her husband could devote the time to construct the model. The construction was completed, on budget and within the time constraints, but apparently other children in the class (or rather - their parents) carried out the same task with spectacular results (one has a father who was the architect responsible for the design of the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff!). Poor Timmy looked as though he hadn't applied himself to the task in comparison.

James and I recoiled in horror at this story. Then another parent told us how she and her husband (both Consultants at Kings College Hospital) had spent an entire weekend recently constructing a 'mobile' of THE UNIVERSE, using balls of various size and colour, wire and string. This apparently is not as easy as it sounds (No! Really?), as varying amounts of water had to be injected into the balls in order to weight them so that the mobile would balance accurately. They apparently had a nightmarish weekend dashing from Woolworth's in Norwood to the sports shop on Croxted Road, and 'Toys r us' in the Old Kent Road (believe me an ordeal deserving a medal in itself) in order to procure appropriately proportioned balls in the right colour..................Oh My God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, to add to our panic, to our left, another mother (a Pharmacist) gave us a description of her recent efforts to construct a model of a blood cell using a bath sponge, bottle tops and a hole punch.

It is clear to us, James and I are not intelligent enough for this school. I am convinced the teachers meet up on a Friday afternoon, and decide on the assignments for the coming weekend according to how much they hate us!

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