The Dulwichmum blog has moved. You can catch up with her at Dulwichmum

If you have kindly linked to this site in the past, I would appreciate it if you could check your link and change to

Tuesday, 27 February 2007


This morning I was late for work. Darling Max dissolved into tears when I was helping him to get dressed. Apparently one of his little school chums has been hitting him. The poor baby just melted my heart, and we both shed a few tears. I decided to phone my PA, reschedule a meeting, and escort the lambs to school myself.

All of the mothers at this idyllic nursery school are more than approachable. No parent wants their child to hurt another. The teachers are all terribly helpful, sympathetic and experienced regarding any concern a parent may express. Max is the gentle giant in his class - the oldest boy, and never ever hurts another soul intentionally, by word or action. Freya he is not, she doesn't give two hoots! I am terrified that Max could be bullied, and further - that Freya could choose a career in midwifery or rugby.

I discussed my concerns with Mrs Honeywell, while my baby boy concealed himself behind my skirt, kissing my hand.

'I am afraid that Dustin has been involved in some rough play with Max and he is rather fearful. I think it is perhaps childhood exuberance, and with a little guidance all should be well', I suggested.

Mrs Honeywell surprised me by saying she had been a little concerned last week when a child from violet class called 'Panther' (a close chum and compatriot of Dustin) had been prized off poor Max in the playground by our own baby girl - Freya.

There we stood, two grown adults, talking about children called 'Panther' and 'Dustin' - what in the name of God is happening in Dulwich? Where are these names coming from? An episode of Gladiators? Panther it seems is a tiny milky pale boy with red hair, I was imagining a tall athletic dark skinned boy - how did they choose his name? From a comic? What image are we asking these children to live up to. Nothing can surprise me now. Soon I expect Freya will ask to bring children home for tea - called Knuckles and Fang.

Who are these parents and what are they trying to tell the world about themselves by giving their children these names? It should come as no surprise to them that Dustin is a bully. He is forced to fight each day in the playground just to maintain his dignity with the Ceciley's and Hugo's of this world.

My mother-in-law says these parents are simply 'NOCD' - I will not even begin to justify or explain her expression - she has used that phrase about me on more than one occasion......


Scruffy Mummy said...

Lord forbid that their kids have an ordinary name like Tom or Sam or Dave - Dulwich parents like to think their kids are exceptionally special, above the crowd, the cream of the crop and if they had a name that was shared by anyone else, it would be a disaster as it hints that actually, their kids are no more special than yours or mine!

dulwichmum said...

Dearest Scruffy Mummy,

Our kids are exceptionally, more special than anyone elses. They are ours! We just don't have to call them plonkers names to prove it.

Scruffy Mummy said...

Good point - but maybe they call them silly names because their secret fear/insecurity is that they themselves aren't special enough to have special kids so they have to overcompensate but giving them over the top names.

dulwichmum said...

Yep, could be!

NumberOneScumMum said...

You are so right, and how these things can backfire! Lady Muck in the big house at the top of my road named her little treasure Sienna 7 years ago. Now not only is the poor kid a fat ginge, but is saddled with a council house name. Daughter number two (now five) was blessed with Tatania and is know to all her little friends as "Tanya" which, let's be honest can only be uttered in the same breath as TURNER - Ha, ha, ha!!!

I love your blog. Soooo much funnier than POSH MUM.