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Wednesday, 17 January 2007

The Right Ring

My glamorous Indian work colleague - Rema, has noticed an escalation of late in romantic activity by her partner of 3 years. Raj has been discussing their future while mesmerised by his new baby nephew at a recent family wedding.

Raj has endeavoured to discretely investigate Rema's ring size - much to her horror. Rema knows (as do all ladies of breeding) that long after the champagne has lost it's fizz, and the roses have wilted - a girl will have the rest of her married life (on the labour ward/at the school gates/at the Christmas party from work) to hide an inappropriately modest 'splinter' of a diamond in her pocket.

Every girls nightmare is the presentation of the wrong ring (especially when the Christmas bonus in the city this year has been so generous) which she will be expected to wear for the rest of her married life. There are an anxious few days ahead of us in the office this week, as we seek to ensure that Raj is appropriately educated and does not make a costly mistake.

The form is:

Two months salary (and then some - post generous Christmas bonus - or failing that - post April annual pay review) before tax just for the stone.

The stone and setting must be purchased from Boodle and Dunthorne (who only sell the best quality 'D' virtually colourless stones, and always lazer mark each stone with a special serial number for identification purposes).

The stone must be at least one carat in weight, D in colour (as I said already), preferably brilliant cut (fancy cuts don't seem to hold their value as well) and be of excellent clarity (preferably flawless).

Obviously the setting (if not the entire ring) should be platinum, as it is just the strongest of all metals ensuring a secure 'grasp' on the stone. Also, a white metal accentuates the brilliance of a colourless stone.

'Does Raj know this?,' we have asked Rema. Well, if he didn't - he will soon.

We can't allow his sentiment to ruin the moment, or indeed the marriage. Rema is distraught. We practically ran to Boodle's at lunchtime, to investigate which setting looks best on Rema's hand - should Raj enquire about her preference. Rema favours a contemporary 'rubover' setting. She is off to Raj's house tonight, to rummage for a wage slip which might indicate the price bracket in which she should be shopping.

Now all that is required of her chums, is to subtly inform the gentleman in question, while ensuring that he feels he is making choices himself. I have this down to a fine art, as James and I have been together for nine years. I shall teach Rema everything she needs to know about married life, now she simply needs to set the tone for the marriage by manipulating Raj to purchasing the right ring.

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