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Tuesday, 30 January 2007

Vintage Cheddar?

What a pace!

I had just about got the hang of email and Google, and even blogging, and now it is all MSN messages. I must admit, I do find it rather difficult to keep up. I don't know one end of an Ipod from another.

But, I do expect to at least keep track of the things in which I have a genuine interest - food and drink - actually coffee really, Starbucks specifically. I was in Starbucks today, and to my horror, I noticed a 'Vintage' cheddar sandwich.

What in the name of God and all of his wonderful saints and angels is that in aid of? Vintage cheddar. Pray no? I must be seeing things!

Mature cheddar - is an appropriate description of a specific type of aged cheese. Vintage wine - a good year - cherished and substantially aged - I understand the concept. Vintage cars - yes this is appropriate also, perhaps looking more like Chitty chitty bang bang, and not yet a Citron 2CV - they are just old, not yet vintage (NEVER a Ford Escort). Vintage clothes - well on everyone else - yes perhaps, for myself? Only really if it was found in the back of my grandma's closet. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I do not intend to catch ringworm off some dead old lady.

If the likes of Keira Knightley et al. are claiming to be wearing 1950's and 60's vintage, they should bear in mind that these luscious starlets were often not very tall, with voluptuous breasts and yes tiny waists - bigger bottoms perhaps too, and that was OK. Perhaps today's stars have copies of 'vintage' made up by the original designer to fit them? Can you really imagine stick insect Keira or Paris fitting into any pre-loved garment of Ginger Rogers or Marilyn Monroe? A handbag perhaps.

Vintage cheddar? No, no, no. Certainly not. That implies that it has been languishing in the back of the fridge for years.

I will not pay £2.70 for a dry old cheddar sandwich. No, it is wrong. Starbucks, you are a fashion victim, you have gone too far. Back away from this idea slowly and close the fridge door.

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