Lent
Today is the beginning of Lent. Lent lasts for forty days and nights, and for Roman Catholics it involves sacrifice, abstinence and fasting. All this in an effort to become a better person and become closer to God in preparation for Easter.
My mother telephoned me last night, wanting to know my choice of torture for this year. As children - my sisters and I were cajoled into giving up chocolate, sweets (or never and) crisps. As teenagers, we gave up bad language, nail biting, tea, coffee or chocolate. In our twenties we had left home, and at university my sisters and I had the courage to give up Lent.
My mother is working with the assumption, that anything you enjoy - must be bad for the soul. I have been functioning in an exhaustion induced haze for the last six years - I gave up sleep for Lent when I was pregnant with Max, and so I have blindly complied with my mothers request. I am giving up alcohol, chocolate, sweets and crisps! OHMYGOD!!!!
How will I survive?
I only ever drink one glass of wine each day, but I am completely ready for a drink by the time I have it at seven pm. Surely I must be alcohol dependant? I hardly ever drank alcohol before the children were born. My health visitor practically gave me a bottle of Chablis when I was trembling with stress - unable to get any sleep with my new born son.
'Have a glass in the evening', she insisted,
'before you give him a feed and put him down for the night. Max will relax and so will you.'
I drank a glass and we both slept for the first time in days! It was more addictive than Tamazepam. The Dulwich version of mothers little helper.
Before last Christmas I was ill, and thought I had gall stones so I gave up rich foods and treats. I lose almost two stones in weight. I have been drifting back to my old ways, so a good purge would do my figure good for the coming summer. Surely this is a win, win situation? It is half past eight, and I am in withdrawal hell..................WHAT HAVE I DONE??????????????????????
4 comments:
Listen, your mum will never, ever know. Maybe just give up the crisps if you want to show willing. But a daily glass of wine and a little bit of chocolate are essential!
My mum is always here, and the kids will tell her anyhow - they are at that age where they tell everyone everything! This feels like purgatory. Why did I open my big mouth?
Even god himself wouldn't expect you to give up all that for lent! Pick one and you're more likely to stick to it I think. It's all about focus darling! Tell your mum you heard a voice from heaven telling you not to give it all up and who are you to argue with the 'man upstairs?'
If but it were that simple dear Scruffy Mummy, my mother is really good at turning on the guilt card. She is a Roman Catholic afterall, I would probably end up adding tea, coffee and a swear box to my list of pennances!
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