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Monday, 18 June 2007

Guise

So here I am - wafting about my minimalist kitchen in my super new Allegra Hicks Kaftan, with my perfectly manicured toes clad in sexy spangly sandals. Don't you agree they should make a spray tan compulsory for the summer months?

You know I have surprised myself by how good I look. Too sad to eat? Hey presto - I look great! I feel so very flat tonight, ... glamorous but 'sans gas' if you see what I mean, like flat Champagne. Death, debt and divorce are the only reasons why a large family home would ever come up for sale on a road like ours, and well, James is fit as a fiddle, cash is not a problem and divorce is just not us...

I am not going to Ascot. I have an outfit for every weather for every single day - suits, summer dresses, let him wonder.

Poor little Ana...

11 comments:

Drunk Mummy said...

You poor darling - I used to have a friend who would get the fizz back into flat champagne by stirring it with a fork. Maybe you too need a fork to get your fizz back?

dulwichmum said...

Dear Drunk Mummy,

I think James has had enough "fork" for the two of us!

DM

antarctichousehusband said...

Darling DM, I may be especially slow tonight (one bottle Chateau Papillion Cabernet, Waitrose, 5.99) but I can't quite work out what's happening. Nonetheless, it sounds ominous. Is James due a hiding? If so, you know where I am.
Your knight in shining armour,
AHH

dulwichmum said...

Oh Antarctichousehusband,

You really are quite the hero. I thought you had abandoned me! Sigh...

debio said...

Oh come and join me, dulwich mum, for some off-the-scale light intensity treatment - that will lift your mood...sexy spangly sandals de rigueur.

Stay at home dad said...

Poor Dulwich Mum. Such exquisite sadness.

Nothing worse than flat Champagne: that's why I always finish the bottle...

Motheratlarge said...

Oh no. Reading this with terrible sense of foreboding...

East of Dulwich said...

I'm so sorry you're not at Ascot this year. I was so looking forward to looking out for your hat on the telly.

dulwichmum said...

Darling Debio,

please tell me more!

Sweet Stay at home dad,

There you have a good point ... (hic)

Lovely Motheratlarge,

Me too, sniff.

Perfect East of Dulwich,

I may take a photo and post it on the blog. It really is a shame that it may never be worn.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

this read rather like a Marguerite Duras stream of consciousness thing...i didn't really understand, but felt your pain!
hope you are feeling better love.
Pigx

dulwichmum said...

Oh Pig darling,

I fear James has let the side down! Sniff...