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Sunday, 3 June 2007

Tagged - 8 interesting things...

Well, my cyber sister Nunhead Mum of One has been 'tagged' and as she was keen to point out "not electronically" (ha, ha, ha) to volunteer eight interesting things about herself. She has subsequently 'tagged' me to do the same. There really isn't anything at all to say about boring old dulwichmum. I shall write eight facts, and you will have to judge if they are interesting or not. Here goes...

1. I really can't abide bullies. My darling son Max received a punch on the nose at nursery before half term, in reward for standing up for another smaller boy who was being pushed about. I almost cried with joy, he really is my golden boy.

2. I have a complete aversion to the way some people 'hothouse' their children and don't allow them to have a childhood, doing the simple things they enjoy. My munchkins actually love to pay sodoku on the Cbeebies web site, and ask for their 'sing the times tables' cd in the car. Yes they love their Muzzy French DVD, CD Rom, and CD too, and also adore Saturday morning French club. Well, it would be such a shame to refuse things they love... Now where are those two scamps when they need to take their fish oils?

3. I only ever drink white wine (red wine stains your teeth). I prefer Chablis or White Burgundy. Would you believe some dreadful man tried to tell me this evening that these wines are made from Chardonnay grapes, does he think I was born yesterday? That is the last time I buy any wine from the local Tesco Metro. Quality is always lost if we insist on using enormous supermarket chains - honestly, the things they try to fob us off with!

4. I love luxury handbags. I can recognise an "it" bag from approximately half a mile... A good quality non designer bag is a fine alternative, but an imitation is beneath contempt!

5. I adore men who wear glasses. I have been known to hide James' contact lenses... for weeks.

6. I always wear fabulous underwear. Lace topped Wolford stockings are a particular favourite. I pride myself on the fact that my underwear is always more expensive than the clothes I put on top.

7. It has been noted that I never turn right when entering an aircraft. I always turn left - on autopilot I suppose, I never travel less than business class... On smaller aircraft - flying to Europe, this has been the source of much embarrassment to me, as turning left takes one straight to the flight deck and not the luxurious seats!

8. I am an equal opportunities employer. I positively discriminate in favour of those applicants for the post of au pair with major physical impairments, hirsuitism, bad teeth, strangely shaped noses, club feet, acne, big bones or chronic obesity, actually preferably all of the above. Any girl with all of these attributes would be particularly welcome to apply to look after my poppets while I am out at work. Obviously au pairs with fuller figures may cost more to feed, but this is a sacrifice I am willing to make in order to keep my husbands attentions for myself.

I only draw the line if her looks scare my cats.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

I tag... Babysteps, Scruffy Mummy, i beatrice, Marianne, Omegamum, Debio and Pig in the Kitchen...

18 comments:

antarctichousehusband said...

I wear glasses, darling DM...all the better to see your fabulous knickers with...

lady macleod said...

Brilliant list - you are indeed a woman of fascination and intrigue.

debio said...

This tagging thing sorts out the sheep from the goats; I am most definitely a goat (which is appropriate as I'm a Capricorn), and have struggled to reveal something witty and charming - as you so deftly have, dulwich mum.
I shall just keep climbing the rocky slope.
Great list!

I Beatrice said...

Thank you for tagging me DM - I wondered where you had gone. Disappeared off into that promised land of People with Book Deals I daresay?

I do hope it's proving a good place to be. (Let me know when you can).

As for the eight things required of a tagger - well, I couldn't think of even one, so took refuge in my fictional characters, I fear...

dulwichmum said...

Darling Antarctichousehusband...

You sound just super(swoon)!

Lovely Lady MacLeod,

You are too kind. I am simply a mother.

Sweet Debio,

I can't wait to read yours!

Perfect I Beatrice,

I am back for good now. I simply had to do a little work!

DM

Frog in the Field said...

Love No. 8
Same theory goes when employing a cleaner. I always try to get someone older than me too!

Scruffy Mummy said...

I was just struggling what I would blog on tonight - thanks for the tag! Will get on with it tonight!!

Cheers,
Scruffy Mummy

dulwichmum said...

Dear Frog in the Field,

I am dreadful aren't I? But you have to be sooo careful. Young attractive girls, they really can be quite "the minx!" I once employed a good looking cleaner - just to watch her clean my house!

My good friend Scruffy Mummy,

Glad to be of assistance!

DM

AntiScam said...

Dulwichmum,

Thank God you are back! I haven't had a thing to read.

mutterings and meanderings said...

I've always wanted some Wolford stockings ...

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Hello lovely Dulwich Mum...it has been bugging me for ages, but do you know who you look like in that photo taken by Piers? (if indeed it IS you), Brie Van der Camp. I hope that makes you happy, she's such a feisty icon.

NOw i'm in a bit of a cold sweat, was just off up to bed and i've read that i've been tagged! Do i understand correctly (i'm a bit brain dead after 4 children) i have to provide 8 interesting facts? on my blog? gosh, it's complicated, will have to sleep on it. Please just clarify the rules for me, don't want to make a tit of myself in blogland!
Pigx

Omega Mum said...

Enjoyed all of them. You're just in a class of your own. Did you finish the book? You sound remarkably free of writer's angst, so I hope everything went swimmingly.

Drunk Mummy said...

Dear Dulwich Mum,
Although I applaud your selfless approach to being an equal opportunities employer, you could always hire a skinny au pair, to save on food bills, then hide James' contact lenses AND his glasses. There is the risk that he might prang the Aston Martin though.

dulwichmum said...

Dear Antiscam,

Thank God you are here! I was hoping you had not left me. I am delighted you missed me dear heart.

Dear M&M,

Wolford really are the only thing to put on ones legs!

Darling PITK,

You know you are not the first person to point out - I am virtually Bree's identical twin!

Yes please, six interesting facts on Debio to be posted on your super blog.

Lovely Omega Mum,

Yes it is almost there, I am just doing a final read through now. I had inspiration from everywhere, and I am a full of ideas for my second book now. I can't wait to start!

Oh Drunk Mummy,

Why didn't I think of that? You are so clever!

nbn said...

Dear DM,

I am a virgin blog comment maker (so be gentle!). However, I must point out a few things that could help take years off you....

1 Bullies
Always invite them round your house for tea (Hide the Conran crockery - leave the Habitat stuff out as its so replaceable!). The threaten the little tyke with your cooking if he dares come near your lovely again. This trick also works if you wish to avoid bedtime fumblings with your husband.

2 Hothousing
The only thing anyone needs to teach their children is how to use the remote control - that way they can study all sorts of things.....how to escape the supermarket with your life (supermarket sweep), a deeper understanding of cultural issues (Jeremy Kyle/Trisha/Richard & Judy/This morning), comedy timing (Eastenders)

3 Elixir of life
Gin & Vodka are far superior as neither stain teeth or clothes, make your breath smell and can aid weight loss as part of an anorexic diet. However cocktails at the top of the gherkin will draw out the best of me.

4 Girly bags
Handbags are only any good if they compliment the outfit. One should dress befitting her station. I am partial to sexy shoes and have been known to wrestle strangers to the ground to find out where they got their shoes. You might think I would be arrested but it seems many women like having their feet attacked in hopes of a good toe-sucking.

5 Speccy foureyes
Guys and glasses.....I dont have to hide them....they all seem to lose them as soon as they meet me...apparently my come hither eyes and monobrow look better if the guy is blind!!!

6 Commando
As I was growing wider (havent we all?) it was the done thing to carry a spare pair of knickers and a toothrush in your handbag. However, I have discovered that its far more interesting to have a spare pair of stockings in your bag - never mind the knickers, I can never find a bag big enough.

7 Men in uniform
Dont you just sit with the pilot and help push buttons...they always seem to like it when I do it. The downside is the retraining orders....I thought he said he wanted to see me again!

8 Ugly Betty
Not wishing to mock the afflicted, but they do help us remain humble in the face of adversity.

Trixie Jones

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Welcome back cyber sis xxx

Silvana said...

Brilliant!
We got tagged too but have not even started our 8 yet!

dulwichmum said...

Ah, Nunhead Mum of One!

Sweetie!

Silvana - you are back! You always set my tastebuds off!