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Tuesday, 12 June 2007

Retro Chic

This morning as I walked to the bus stop on Park Hall Road, I passed a gentleman on one of those trendy tandem bicycle contraptions with a child attached to the back, you know, the clip on tandem accessory with the flag? The man stopped the bicycle on the path right next to me, and pointed to a citrus coloured VW Beetle parked next to the kerb.

"This car, Hector" he began, "this is an example of retro chic."

My leisurely walk dramatically increased in pace when I registered the content of the conversation. I all but ran to the bus stop to get out of SE21 and into work. Is everywhere as insane as Dulwich?

Hector appeared to be about six years old, he wasn't much taller than my own dear Max. Why would he need to know what represented an example of "retro chic"? Sometimes I think everyone around here is incredibly pretentious and sooo crazy.

OHMYGOD! Really, You could not make this up... Why was he wasting poor Hector's time with such stuipid irrelevant detail?

Everyone knows "retro chic" is so passe, I threw my pastel coloured Smeg retro fridge on a skip a couple of summers ago, when I had my 1950's artisan style kitchen hacked out of the house and replaced with minimalist Poggenpohl cabinets.

Some people!


piersy said...

I ask you, some people.
How can he be teaching Hector such filth? The VW Beetle is of course a classic example of post-modernist irony!!
Hector must be contemplating disowning daddy, I know I would.

dulwichmum said...

Oh Piersy darling,

You are so very bright! I only wish you had been by my side in order to correct this simpleton before he poisoned the mind of young Hector for ever. Do pass the cork screw.

debio said...

Tandem man was just plain wrong! As the VW Beetle was never chic, it cannot now be chic just because he thinks it's retro.

I wonder how he will explain to his son, when sprog is old enough to be embarrassed by riding tandem, what the bicycle contraption represents. 'Death trap', perhaps?

I Beatrice said...

It's such a relief to be much too old to have to bother with such nonsense!

And besides, the best piece of fashion advice I ever received was given me by a very grand old lady whose private nurse I was at the time, in Eaton Square:

"Wear what becomes you my dear." she advised me. "Leave fashion to film stars and other common people."

It was many years ago now of course, but I still think it was excellent advice. And can be applied to cars, fridges, and whatever, as well as clothes...

Or so it seems to me.

Omega Mum said...

I'm so old that I'm definitely a retro chick. Oh, it's chic. Sorry!

Nunhead Mum of One said...

i agree with Debio, I'd be far more worried about the dodgy tandem idea than anything else - they always look sooooo dangerous!

dulwichmum said...

Dear Debio,

You are so right. I have found a soul mate in you!

Perfect I Beatrice,

This was wise advice indeed! I mean, Posh Spice is fashionable - and how "posh" is she? In future I shall set the trend myself - by knowing what I like of course - I shall text my interior designer forthwith and ask her to tell me what I like...

Lovey Omega Mum,

Ha, ha, ha. I am a "retro chick" too.

Nunhead mum of one darling!

As usual - you are the one I will always turn to in matters of safety!

lady macleod said...

oh darling you are too too chic. Perhaps Hector can come over to assist with your next decorating endeavor?

Thekla said...

Trying to do too many things at once here, Dulwichmum.

First, laughing at a probably perfectly nice man actually talking to his child. How do you know that little Hector (and I hope you made up that name) had not overheard the phrase and demanded to know its meaning that very morning? At least this chap was charmingly involving his child in the outside world, on his nice eco-friendly vehicle which enables parents to actually chat to their children, rather than play CDs at them until they fall asleep.

But then you change your mind. Oh no, 'retro chic' is funny and you can use it to cement the impression for your readers of yourself as a fashion maven of some sort (although living in Alleyn Park, I somewhat doubt it - it's all old money or nasty 1970s down there, isn't it?).

Regards, as always,

Motheratlarge said...

Quite right Dulwich Mum. If a dad's going to come over all Kevin McCloud with his children he should at least get the design details right. Hector needs those pointers for when he builds his house. That's what little boys called Hector do when they grow up.

Anonymous said...

Poor Hector. The name always reminds me of that sad dog on Hector's House ( 1970s kids show). I will post a picture on my blog so Dulwich Mum can see if there is a resemblance between the two Hectors. PS - this is my second attempt so apologies if there are 2 comments from me.

mutterings and meanderings said...

Goodness me, Dulwich Mum, Thekla's a bit thick, isn't s/he/it?

East of Dulwich said...

Personally, if the myth of "retro chic" isn't kept alive in the next generation, how else will I get away with bringing out a new pair of Levi 501's every year, from a bulk purchase I made circa 1985?