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Saturday, 10 March 2007

Dangerous driving

The law of the land has changed of late, and about time too in my opinion. Three points and a fine of sixty pounds is now the penalty for driving while conversing on a mobile phone and I believe it to be appropriate and fair.

To my horror, I have noticed young (particularly male) drivers, careering along with their music blaring in their 'boy racer' vehicles, chatting on their telephones. This is indeed less focused concentration than required to drive safely on the roads.

I will endeavour to no longer answer my mobile phone when driving (rats..... these laws apply to me too!). I suppose also, therefore texting (and sending Email on my Blackberry) is out of the question? Doh! Another three points and a fine of sixty pounds...

When will the law change however, to stop dangerously exhausted parents driving with their ever demanding children in their cars? How distracting is that do you suppose?

The mother - jiggling up and down enthusiastically to a 'Monkey Music' recording, in an effort to distract the little darlings (screaming baby Ceciley in the front passenger seat and obstreperous toddler Felix in the back). Responding to shouted requests for a drink, raisins or a rice cake.

Several times, in an exhaustion induced haze, I have responded to demands for the retrieval of a dropped toy from the floor of the back of the car - whilst stationary at traffic lights. Am I alone in this?

Children's car seats will only ever be safe, when they include a pair of handcuffs and a gag for the child (ha, ha). Exhausted parents can have concentration no better than that of a drunk driver at times.

I think that driving a family tank, without at least six hours sleep in the presence of small children and accompanied by nursery tunes should merit three points and a fine of sixty pounds .... surely?

Actually, slap the cuffs straight on these women and send them all immediately to jail. I would rather engage in an argument with a gun toting gangsta rapper than an exhausted mother regarding who is at fault in a car accident.

I would choose to tackle drug fueled testosterone over exhaustion enhanced oestrogen on every occasion.

These Dulwichmums are indeed a scarey exhausted bunch of muthas!


Nunhead Mum of One said...

I know exactly what you mean. I have been sitting at a red traffic light, valiantly trying to ignore three whining dogs (they do so hate to be still) and Mac demanding that I find his favourite audio book which has been dropped under the debris in the back of the people carrier. I wait until the light is GREEN before looking for said audio book and hissing at the whining canines. Something not quite right there surely.

dulwichmum said...

Dear Nunhead mum of one,

I think these lapses in our concentration as responsible drivers is only to be expected under the circumstances.

Actually, now that I have had time to reflect, perhaps I was a tad harsh. It is not the mothers who should be incarcirated, but the children... send them all to Winchester at birth, and return them to us post university.

Rob said...

Typical conversation in the Landcroft House mobile:

Scrap: Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy!
Me: Yes, Scrap.
(Long pause)
S: What are you doo-ing?
M: Driving.
S: Woy?
M; Because you have to go to school (trans: nursery) and mummy and daddy have to go to work.
S: Woy?
M: Because that's the way it is.
S: Woy?
(11 seconds of silence)
S: Daddy?
M: Yes?
S: What are you doo-ing?
M: What does it look like I'm doing?
S: Dry-bing.
M: That's it!
S: Woy dry-bing?
(Cut to sound of me banging my head on the dashboard)

Heidi said...

dulwichmum I think you are onto something there. I now see the point of boarding schools. I just wish they took 3-year olds.

I do remember feeding my howling 3-month old baby (strapped in a car seat in the back) a bottle whilst crawling in a traffic jam on the Westway. To this day I don't know how I managed that. As for the looks I got from other drivers, I just scowled like only a sleep-deprived, hormonal mother can scowl.