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Thursday, 15 March 2007

Terror

This morning the train from North Dulwich Station was particularly full. We were crammed on with only inches to move about like something from a scene in that film Dr Zhivago. I was forced to cling to an overhead shelf amongst sitting passengers, intimately close to a gentleman with ethnic attire and a long dark beard.

Before long I became aware of what sounded like his monotone chanting - I thought he could be saying a prayer - OHMYGOD, not A FINAL PRAYER???????

I looked around and the carriage had fallen completely silent. Everyone was wide eyed and staring in our direction, there were wires sticking out of his shirt!

NO! NO!

I was not frightened for me. I would not know anything about it - clearly it would be over in seconds, but what about the darling children and my wonderful husband? My father died when I was so young, and our lives were destroyed, I wanted to cry out loud. My mothers heart is still broken, our childhood ended that same day......

The mans humming and mumbling became louder, I hung on to the shelf over head, and braced myself for the end...........

Then I noticed that the wires from his shirt led from a tiny MP3 player - the size of a postage stamp. People were staring at my silk electric blue Joseph shirt with mother of pearl buttons which had popped open in the crush. I was showing my best blue lace Aubade lingerie to the whole of East Dulwich! The shame.............

Shall I ever recover? I am not sure actually.

In future I shall drive to London Bridge and pay the congestion charge. What is the point in a personal parking space if you don't use it?

NOTE TO SELF: NEVER sing to oneself whilst wearing a tiny MP3 player and earphones on public transport.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

i have nothing much to say today except keep it up with the blog - it's a jolly good read even if a tad middle class but very insightful none the less!

Moofleur said...

May I ask what Baby Bells is?
Thanks!

dulwichmum said...

Dear Moofleur,

A Babybel is a small individual cheese portion, in a sweet red wrapper, favoured by little Londoners. It is quite refreshing to come accross someone who does not know what they are. Their wax wrappers have destroyed my carpets and car uppholstry.

Babysteps said...

My goodness, Dulwich Mum, your heart must have stopped beating! I was on a flight once that was going through some terrible turbulence -- it was my first time away from my baby girl. I was sure I was going to die. Like you, I didn't think so much of me, but of leaving my baby behind (with the evil mother in law to raise her! Eek!)

Nunhead Mum of One said...

the wax container of the Babybel is also a bugger to shift when it's left on a sun drenched window ledge and melts all over newly decorated walls. Mac swears blind that "Daddy did it" and if it wasn't for David's allergy to all things fromage I would believe him!
How are you enjoying the gorgeous day dear sister? x

I don't have time to blog myself but always find time to read yours!

Keef said...

Dulwichmum, you are a genius!!!! ;o)

This blog make me laugh out loud in the office, but also raises a fair point about the genuine paranoia around since 7/7.

Keep up the good work, this is the only blog I actually bother coming back to to read again and again!

dulwichmum said...

My dear baby sister, and Mr Keef (and Mrs Babysteps too),

My word you are making me blush. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your kind comments. I love my pals! If ever I can lend you my wonderful eastern European au pair, or pop along and delivery you a Starbucks Grande Latte - just contact me and I will be there!

AntiScam said...

I love you Dulwichmum, and I want the world to know.

Heidi said...

at least you were wearing nice lingerie. wardrobe malfunction only embarrassing if wearing a grubby bra.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, I do so hate being squeezed into the morning rush hour train, pressed closer to stangers than to those with whom I'm intimately acquainted! One can feel them breathe on you! and it creases the clothes unmercifully.
My reason, therefore, for NEVER setting foot on public transport before the hoi-paloi and working classes have left, and arriving at the office presentably turned out if a tad late for coffee.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

I trust you haven't forgotten your Eastern European au-pair has agreed to have Mac tomorrow whilst the new laminate flooring is being laid! And are you sure she can't have all three dogs too?

I love you too Big Sis and want EVERYONE to know! xx

Moofleur said...

Ah- Babybel! I thought it was some kind of minature (inferior) whisky , secreted in yr handbag, glove compartment, cutlery drawer etc LOL