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Wednesday, 21 March 2007

New Age

James came home tonight (in daylight!!!) from work in a dreadful Japanese Toyota Prius! He parked it on our front drive initially. When I arrived and saw what he had done, I insisted he moved the Aston out of the garage, and concealed the dreadful car out of public view.

The ugly Eco vehicle is bright blue for Gods sake. It's shape screams 'sales rep' or 'mini cab driver'. People will think James has lost his super job! I was naturally horrified. If I allow this kind of new age thing to go on unchecked James will be consulting reiki healers and hanging crystals in my kitchen window's next, ruining the line of my expensive Poggenpohl minimalist cabinetry.

We had a long and frank discussion this evening. I told James he is taking his little projects at work far too seriously. I gave him the clear impression that I was in fear of him loosing his mind.

The only time I have ever noticed James take any non mainstream radical view in the past was when I was very pregnant with Freya, and he insisted that we joined the march through London protesting against the impending war in Iraq. James was completely right about that fiasco, so I suppose I should trust him.

Apparently, if global warming continues at it's current rate, vast tracts of the south of England shall be submerged in water, and the population of Greater London shall be forced to re-locate to Wales!!! James was serious. He googled me a little map, apparently even Burbage Road will be completely under water!

OHMYGOD! We would be virtually forced to live with my mother-in-law!!!

I shall have some of those large expensive solar panels installed on the roof forthwith - they cost much more money than they could ever save, and they will send clear value signals to the neighbours. We may even have a large tank installed beneath the back lawn to collect rainwater (or brown water as they call it - eugh!). I am sure the au pair will find it is perfectly fine for bathing and washing the dishes.

I wonder if The Dulwich Estates will allow us to have wind turbines installed on the roof just like David Cameron? I shall order one of those Anya Hindmarch five pounds shopping bags off Ebay for £300 - before everyone else gets one.

Protecting the environment is terribly now, darling...

6 comments:

Scruffy Mummy said...

You could get an allotment and grow your own organic vegetables Dulwich Mum! Or what about keeping a few chickens in the garden - and make James clean out the chicken coop!

dulwichmum said...

Dear Scruffy Mummy,

I must admit I would do anything rather than live in Wales, but I would rather not keep live stock if I could help it. Thank you for your kind suggestion. I could apply for an allotment and have our gardener look after it though... Good thinking!

AntiScam said...

Darling Dulwichmum,

I am sure you could even save the environment elegantly if you set your mind to it!

Babysteps said...

The chickens are good enough for Martha Stewart! Although I'm sure she has someone to actually feed the nasty little birds and pick up their poop (or compost it, or whatever).

The fear of living with one's Monster in Law is enough to make one wade through chicken poop, really.

dulwichmum said...

I know you girls are right. I have just been checking our the Eglu chicken houses online with that trendy Omlet online company and I do rather like the lime green model. I could really get into this environmentally friendly business if the toilet paper was not so damn hard, and the washing powder actually worked! I'll try it out and see if I can't help save the planet. Its worth a try!

Nunhead Mum Of One said...

Jack Next Door has got his own little farm next door (not quite like in the Good Life but damn nearly). He told David on Wednesday evening that he was planning on getting "a few birds". David took this to mean chickens rather than scantily clad young ladies. It seems that everyone is at it!