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Thursday, 22 March 2007

Feeling good!

I had my appraisal today. I hate appraisals, I always become so anxious in anticipation of the dreadful meeting. I really don't like discussing my 'key realizations' or whatever the trendy current name is that they give to achievements this year. It seems like encouraging arrogance to me, and it just doesn't come naturally. Well, not too naturally...

I know that the men in this department earn twice as much as I do, and they clearly do not work any harder or take on any more responsibility than I, so why do I have to justify deserving my bonus in such a degrading way? I don't like to go 'cap in hand' to anyone.

It is substantially more expensive to be a woman than a man, so we should naturally be paid more than they. Men do not need to buy make-up, or a fabulous wardrobe to look the part. They are not required to spend substantial sums of cash at the hairdressers or beauty shop to be taken seriously. They wear the same old suit most days of the week and buy their underwear in multi-packs from chain stores.

I must admit I went a tad too far with the Big Boss, I am after all an incorrigible flirt. When BB asked me to 'justify' my required bonus and pay rise - I asked him if he was aware of the price of a pair of Wolford's - I really wish I hadn't. He began staring at my legs...

I caught the number 3 bus home tonight as usual. I trudged up the stairs and took my seat next to a stranger. I was just unfolding my copy of The London Lite - when I heard two females from a couple of rows behind talking out loud, (I know I admit it - I am always listening):

"Her mother is Irish, it doesn't necessarily follow that she is", said the first woman.

"Interesting", I thought to myself, "my darling mother is Irish, and what an endless source of mirth and heartache that is!"

"She catches this bus - she always says that. She catches the number 3", the woman continued.

Mmm, I wondered who? The mother, or the woman they are talking about.

"I bet she is a real glamour puss", said the second woman.

"How can they be talking about someone who they know that catches this bus but who they don't really know at all? Hold on", I thought to myself, now I was getting paranoid...

I began fingering my hair nervously, glad I washed it this morning, but wishing I had lightened the colour a little more - I was just so afraid of ending up ginger.

"I read her blog every day, she really makes me laugh - she takes herself so very seriously."

"I am sure that she really carries that enormous handbag".

OHMYGOD - they were actually talking about me, Dulwichmum!They don't know me, but they kind of do, and they like me, they even said that too! Thank God for that!

I stood up to leave, hiding my bag beneath my open newspaper. I turned around, and there they were! They didn't notice me at all. I was shocked to the souls of my beautiful Hobbs shoes. They were only about twenty years old! Why would they be reading the blog of an old married lady like me?

This year I don't mind if I don't get a big pay rise, I don't need it to make me walk tall right now. I have some people who read my blog regularly, and they like it! Life is good!

I am not gloating, honestly. I just feel happy today, and I wanted to tell you why.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

DulwichMum, I think you are sorely mistaken. They said (and I quote) "I read her blog every day, she really makes me laugh - she takes herself so very seriously." I think they're laughing at you, not with you. Along, no doubt, with all your schoolgate compatriates at the Prep, who no doubt consider your poor grammar, extraordinary pretentiousness and desperate desire to be 'well known' rather undignified.

Scruffy Mummy said...

I think it's you anonymous who is sorely mistaken! Anyone reading this blog can see Dulwich Mum is writing with a sense of irony and satricial wit! I personally enjoy the way Dulwich Mum gently laughs at middle class pretention and herself! I've also found Dulwich Mum to be extremely dignified and helpful as well!

Keef said...

Ignore that comment DM... For a start, anyone who is too gutless to put a name to their bitching isn't really worth listening to! And secondly, you're blog is very very funny, and I know a lot of people that read it regularly and enjoy it!

Some people just take life in general too seriously. You my friend are not one of them... Don't let that change.

Kep up the good work! ;o)

Anonymous said...

perhaps its anonymous above who has a wee stick up her/his ***

As I amongst many others find your mickey taking of middle class culture really funny!

AntiScam said...

Anonymous 1, I think you should look at your own grammar and spelling before you comment on others !

antarctichousehusband said...

Dulwichmum, I've been raving about you today too, but I most certainly was not on the number 3 bus! I don't pack enough firepower to brave South East London.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear oh dear Anonymous 1, how does it feel to have so obviously got the wrong end of the stick?
Dulwichmum is fab! her blog gets me through my day, transports me to another world and allows me to join in posting 'humerous' comments of my own. Why dont you try writing your own blog?
Dont stop DM.

Rob said...

Well Dulwichmum I read your blog everyday and I think it's hilarious. But then, I'm not eaten up with jealousy!
x

Foxy Minx said...

Oh so true Rob.
Anonymous 1 clearly wishes she had some tallent!
Whereas I know that I dont - and have to make do with fabulous good looks and enormous salary.... (or is that me being eaten up with jealousy? I never can tell!)

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Anonymous 1....jealously is so ageing darling. And you don't want to end up all bitter and twisted do you?

Dear sister, carry on blogging. And enjoy your new bag x

eastdulwichmum said...

Dear Dulwichmum,

Isn't it dreadful to think that Anonymous 1 may not be aware of something everyone else is thinking of her? Time for HRT don't you think? The menopause can be such an emotional time for some.

Come on Anonymous 1, it really is nothing to be ashamed of.

NumberOneScumMum said...

Anonymous 1 has gone awfully quiet. Perhaps it's come as a little bit of a shock to it that DulwichMum has such a large and loyal following! Ha ha ha...

minoritymum said...

Dulwichmum, you're a star. A true talent, a seriously gifted satirist, extremely witty, chic, stylish...Oooh, Anonymous 1 those green eyes of yours are glowing so fiercely. If I were you, I'd ask Dulwichmum for advice about your damaging affliction...I'm sure she'd be only too pleased to offer you a few of her resonant words of advice. Let the masterclass ensue......

dusky maiden said...

Anonymous 1 I read DM's blog daily. I am usually passive by nature and not easily given to rage. However your comments about DM have deeply incensed me...You appear so young, bitter and naive...Take a leaf out of DM's book and get a handbag...Prendi una vita, cretino...grazie

AntiScam said...

Dear Anonymous 1,

Just to clarify, I think you will find "compatriots" is the correct spelling.

eastdulwichhilary said...

Dear Dulwich Mum, CONGRATULATIONS!! You are not successful (oh dear, have I misspelled that word, and this one?) until you have an enemy. Everybody knows that (well, apart from Anonymous who clearly needs to get a life... why is she reading a blog, let alone taking the time to post a comment, if she doesn't like it?? duh!). Keep up the excellent work... we are laughing our bums off over here in downmarket East Dulwich. xx